Discover how home-based visual schedules, first-then boards, and token charts can minimize behavioral meltdowns and lower parental anxiety during summer break.

Show Notes:

Unstructured days shouldn’t translate into daily family meltdowns—learn how to build a visual architecture that restores peace to your household this summer.

Summer break is supposed to feel like an open, relaxing window of time, but for parents raising children with disabilities, losing a predictable school routine can quickly spike caregiver burnout, trigger behavioral meltdowns, and fuel underlying anxiety.

In this archival deep-dive episode of The Water Prairie Chronicles, host Tonya Wollum connects with veteran mother and special education advocate Kristin Evans to talk through practical, front-loaded strategies for engineering successful school breaks. Together, they walk through the concrete mechanics of implementing home-based visual schedules, customizing first-then boards using actual household photography, and introducing token boards that celebrate positive behavioral steps. Kristin shares her real-life experience handling routine shifts with her daughter Bethany and navigating weekend tracking with her son.

Whether your family is gearing up for an extended summer vacation, preparing for out-of-town guests, or simply trying to make weekends more peaceful, this episode delivers step-by-step guidance on creating structure that fits your unique child’s developmental path.skills over the summer.”

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Key Takeaways:

• Intro: Overcoming the hidden stress of unstructured school breaks.
• The Power of Anticipation: Why children with intellectual or developmental disabilities thrive on visual clarity.
• Photographing Your Routine: Why real-world images outperform generic graphics online.
• Time Timers & Apps: Incorporating physical and digital timers to ease structural transitions.
• Beyond Summer Vacation: Applying weekend and after-school schedules to support the whole family.
• Where to Begin: Deploying a simple “First-Then” board without overwhelming your daily routine.
• Token Boards in Practice: How Kristin customized a baby doll tracking system for motivation.
• Protecting Positive Reinforcement: The golden rule of never removing earned tokens.
• Managing House Guests & Travel: Preparing your child and setting firm boundaries with extended family.
• Outro: Collaborative advocacy tools and self-care reminders.

Connect with Kristin:

• Website: https://disabilityparenting.com/book/
• Original Article: https://disabilityparenting.com/how-to-maintain-structure-for-children-with-disabilities-over-summer-break/
• Interview with Todd & Kristin Evans on Marriage & Disability: https://waterprairie.com/2024/04/06/marriage-and-disability/
• Learn more about Kristin’s story: https://youtu.be/ZcMPo8sQBU0

Work with Tonya as an IEP Coach: If you’re looking for personalized support, a trusted partner, and expert guidance through the IEP process, I would be honored to be part of your team. Find more information about my IEP coaching services here: https://waterprairie.com/iepcoach

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👉 Support our podcast and help us share more incredible stories by making a donation at Buy Me A Coffee. Your contribution makes a significant impact in bringing these stories to light. Thank you for your support!

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Music Used:

“LazyDay” by Audionautix is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Artist: http://audionautix.com/

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Episode #155: The Summer Break Survival Guide for Kids with Disabilities

Unstructured days shouldn’t translate into daily family meltdowns—learn how to build a visual architecture that restores peace to your household this summer.

(Originally Released in 2022)

Full Transcript of Episode 155:

155 Repurposed interview with Kristin Evans on summer breaks for kids with disabilities

Tonya: Summer break is supposed to be a relief, but for parents of children with disabilities, losing the school routine can trigger a massive spike in anxiety, behavioral meltdowns, and pure caregiver exhaustion. If you feel like you’re drowning in unstructured days right now, then this episode was recorded just for you.

Welcome to The Water Prairie Chronicles, the podcast for parents of children with disabilities. I’m your host, Tonya Wollum, and today we’re opening the archives to revisit a foundational conversation with Kristin Evans about engineering successful school breaks. Whether your child thrives on intense predictability or just needs a warning before transitions, Kristin’s practical parent-tested strategies for visual schedules, token boards, and boundary setting are exactly what we need to hear right now.

Let’s listen in as Kristin and I discuss why our kids thrive on this anticipation.

Kristin, we were talking about structure, so why is it important for us to have structure for our kids during the breaks?

Kristin: Well, I think we all thrive on structure, some people more than others. When you have a child who has something extra going on, um, either a physical, medical, um, developmental, mental health disability, it just helps so much to have that anticipation of, okay, I know what’s happening next. And when you have a child who has, um, intellectual disabilities, like my daughter, or a child with autism who just thrives on that structure, having that visual can help calm anxiety.

It helps calm that stress, and, um, just makes the day flow a whole lot easier and makes life a little bit more enjoyable for everyone.

Tonya: I’m laughing a little bit because for me, when my children were younger, this was a piece that I struggled with, was keeping structure for them in the summertime because it was easier just to go, go with the wind with it.

Mm-hmm. But it wasn’t easier for them. As, as you say- Right … it’s the structure that was there. And w- and we tried different things at different times that so- some of them worked, some, some of them didn’t. But, um, but I did find that if I could get that organized upfront, it made it a lot easier for us. But, um- Mm-hmm

but I am remembering some- Mm-hmm … of those frustrating years where I did nothing. Mm-hmm.

Kristin: And yes, and so the structure, it helps lower meltdowns. You know, it helps with transitions. Mm-hmm. Um, and I think just me having my own schedule helps with that too. You don’t feel as, um, flustered about trying to think about what’s coming next.

Um, so it actually helps the whole family.

Tonya: Well, I’m thinking about that. You, you had mentioned in the last interview that, um, you know, making sure that we’re taking care of ourselves as parents.

Kristin: Mm-hmm.

Tonya: And you can do that if you’ve kind of gotten yourself organized and gotten the structure together, so then you could- Right

build in that time to be able to, to have that-

Kristin: Exactly …

Tonya: downtime yourself.

Kristin: I was just thinking about that. As you plan out the schedule, it’s thinking, okay, Bethany still takes naps at 12, that’s gonna be my little snippet of time for some mental health and, and personal time. Now, not every child at 12 takes a nap, obviously.

Right. But, you know, if your child can play independently, if there’s something they really enjoy that they’ll engage in and play independently in- Yeah … that’s your time. Yeah. So, you know, trying to strategically plan out that schedule, um, and, and for the child, it doesn’t- necessarily matter what order things are done in, as long as they can see, okay, first we’re gonna eat lunch, then we’re gonna go potty, then I get to play with my tablet, or whatever it is.

Right. Um, doesn’t really matter what order, but you can strategically plan those out to help yourself as well.

Tonya: And it, and it could be a similar schedule for each day, or would you mix up the schedule?

Kristin: I would recommend doing as similar as possible-

Tonya: Okay …

Kristin: each day. Now, for, like, play outside might look differently.

Maybe one day you play in the yard, maybe one day, um- Right … you kick the ball, or, you know. But just try to… Or, um, having a picture of your vehicle, and I do recommend taking actual pictures. It is so much- Mm-hmm … more effective than the generic stick people or the-

Tonya: Right.

Kristin: You know, you can get a lot of free stuff online, but, and it takes, it takes more time, but I just highly recommend taking actual pictures of stuff around your house, um, that your child actually does, their favorite activities.

And so if you take a picture of your vehicle, maybe you’re not going to run the same errand- But, you know, if you try to… And, and, and it’s hard to do this. I’m, I’m saying all this like-

Tonya: Like it’s

Kristin: easy … do your same schedule every day. Ideally, and I know that’s incredibly difficult, ’cause then, you know, you have things that happen.

You have a meltdown that happens. You have a… But in general, if you can have the flow go very similar every day, you might have eat lunch, okay, now we get in our car.

Tonya: Right.

Kristin: It may not be the same errand, but that helps your child know, it helps them mentally prepare and transition, “Okay, we’re gonna go to the car.”

So we’re going somewhere now. And the more- Right … the more repetition, the more it’s the same, it, just the more it helps. I, you know, it just, it, it just, you get into the routine, transitions go smoother. And j- I know … as much as you c- as much consistency as possible-

Tonya: I know, we got to the point- … which is practical

Kristin: for you

Tonya: we got to the point when my kids were older where I knew I had to at least give them a warning of change that was coming. Right. And so- Right … so we kind of got to that point where it wasn’t, I didn’t have to have everything planned out, but I did have to know that- Mm-hmm … 10 minutes before we’re gonna stop the Legos- Right

we need, we need to, to start talking about stopping the Legos so that you could finish that last piece that you’re doing or-

Kristin: Mm-hmm …

Tonya: kind of find a way. And then everyone was a lot happier when we, when we had that, that expectation. Yes. So, so-

Kristin: Yes, I’m glad you brought that up. Timers, we use timers- Okay … all day long.

Um, timers are huge, and visual, for children who, um, really need that visual cue, um… I wish I had it with me. I don’t have it with me right now. Um, but a, but a Time Timer, it doesn’t have to be that brand, ’cause those can be a little pricier. Um, but it has that visual of the red as it’s ticking- Okay … and getting smaller.

Tonya: Mm-hmm.

Kristin: Um, that helps children who need that strong visual. Right. Also, on your phone, there’s lots of apps, and you can put it, um… We’ve never actually done this on Best Tablet, but we should do this. Um, download apps that are kid timers, and they have a visual of- It’s like a puzzle piece, you know, that’s, that’s coming full circle.

Oh. And so they can see, okay, I have this much left of the fish that’s not developed yet. Right. Um, and so just, it, we use Al- we use Alexa a lot, a lot. So, um, we’ll say, “Okay, Beth, when the timer goes off, it’s time to get up and go eat.” Mm-hmm. And we’ll set a timer for five minutes, and like clockwork now, timer goes off, we get up.

Nice. It’s beautiful.

Tonya: Nice.

Kristin: I make it sound like, you know, it’s, it’s not smooth every time. There’s meltdowns. Well, but I’m sure the first

Tonya: time- There’s still meltdowns … probably was, was not as easy as it is now.

Kristin: And it, and, and, and that’s a good point. I will, I will just be honest. This stuff takes work and time upfront, and it does.

Yeah. And that’s why it’s so tempting to start it and be like, “Oh, this is too h- too hard.” And it, and it is a lot of energy, and you’re already exhausted to start with, but if you put that time in and that effort in, it is gonna pay off in the long run, I promise.

Tonya: Yeah. So the… And, and I’m thinking, right, so you, y- you’re, we’re looking at summer break.

You also have Christmas break. That’s a long break.

Kristin: Right.

Tonya: Um, some, some areas of our country have a long fall break or spring break even- Mm-hmm … where, so these same skills could be implemented each time they’re home from school so that the child- Yes … knows that during vacation time, this is part of vacation time with that.

So I would think that would- And also…

Kristin: Oh,

Tonya: go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. I was gonna say- Sorry … I would think that, that it would get easier over time for you as a parent, too, because you already have the schedule put together. You’re just pulling out that same schedule.

Kristin: Exactly. Well, and we use it on the weekends, too.

Weekends can be challenging.

Tonya: Yeah.

Kristin: They’re long days. They’re unstructured. You’ve gone from five days of structure to, uh, this nebulous, what am I, you know, what- To

Tonya: nothing,

Kristin: right. So we actually, um, when our son became old enough to where he preferred writing and words over pictures, um, we sat down and collaborated with him and would write out a schedule for the weekend.

Tonya: Okay.

Kristin: Night and day with how pleasant- Wow … the weekend was with a schedule.

Tonya: Wow. But it does make sense ’cause there’s different activities on the, on the weekend. You know, if your family goes to church- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm … you’ve got different, different transitions that are happening during that time. Right, right.

And getting dressed, getting, you know, there are certain things going on. Saturdays, everyone has different d- different family activities that they do. So, um, so yeah, so it would, it would make sense. Mm-hmm. And but again, once you get that implemented- the majority of the time you’re probably doing the same type of activities each weekend.

So you’ll have- Exactly … some changes, but-

Kristin: Mm-hmm … not

Tonya: a lot

Kristin: of them are- It may not be the same, but you may have a picture of going to the pool, or you may have a picture of going to the park, or church Right Like you said, take a picture of your church. Um, and then if you use it on the weekends, and then those breaks, you’re already in the habit, your child already is in the habit of doing it- Yeah

then you’re on a break and you’re like, okay, you just, it’s a smoother… Um, we actually have a after school one. Um, come home, you, Beth takes a nap, and then dinner, and then bath, and then, you know. So, and she has a little bit of time on her tablet, um, so we actually use it at night as well as the weekends.

Tonya: Yeah, and see, I n- I never thought about doing it that way. It’s, I, I- Mm-hmm … think more the bigger chunks of time, but, um, but that’s a great idea. Um, just because it does, it’s, it’s gonna make it easier for the whole family with it, and, um, and we talked about siblings earlier. The, um, you know, you have, you have siblings that are still being affected- Right

by the meltdowns and things like that. Right. It, it interferes with their plans are-

Kristin: Mm-hmm … and,

Tonya: and there’s delays happening. But then they know too that, okay, so this is our next step. It’s going to happen. That’s a good point. We just have

Kristin: to get there. Mm-hmm.

Tonya: So I’m, I’m just thinking back when the kids were younger, when there was always one waiting for the other one, that, that would, would- Yes

what, whatever our delay was, it was, it was that way. And it-

Kristin: Well, and we tried to, when our son was younger, um, and her needs were so much stronger than his, um, we would try, you know, to have a schedule for just him.

Tonya: Oh,

Kristin: nice. So we would have her schedule, and then we would try to plan, um, so, like, for siblings, if she had a rest period, we would try to plan to play a game with him- Nice

during her rest period to give him that one-on-one attention. Now it gets challenging. We just have two kids, so I can imagine- … three, four, and then- I, I don’t know how they do it … where is your parent self-care time, you know? Right. But it, you know, like I said, strategically trying to help, um, the siblings as well-

Tonya: Right

Kristin: as much as, you know- I like that … as possible.

Tonya: All right. So how can parents know where to even start getting organized?

Kristin: I would say pick one thing. Yeah. Don’t try to do a whole PECS notebook and then, you know, a token board. D- don’t try to do it all. Pick one thing that you think, um, developmentally where your child is at might help them the most.

Um, typically a schedule board, uh, I would start there.

Tonya: Okay.

Kristin: Um, now, if your child is not ready to have, it’s called a f- a field of, you know, three or four or whatever on, on the actual schedule, you can start with a first-then board. And that might be- Oh, yeah … the first step actually. Okay. Um, depending on how old and, and where your child is, uh, developmentally, a first-then board, again, I wish I had a, my visual, um, and you can do the visual and say it.

And the, the goal is to have your child actively participate in pulling off the picture, um, and, and seeing, taking that ownership of, okay, first I clean up my toys, then I get to play with trains. You know?

Tonya: So they’re moving it from one board to another part of the board?

Kristin: Right. Okay. When you have, you know, when you have the actual three or four or five s- you know, schedules in a row, they take off the top one.

Okay, oh, I’m all done cleaning up toys. Put it in all done.

Tonya: Okay.

Kristin: What’s next? I get to play with my trains or, you know, my tablet or, or whatever it is.

Tonya: Right.

Kristin: Um, but starting with a first-then board of just two, first it’s the unpleasant activity or the non-preferred activity of cleaning up toys, then they get to do the preferred activity.

Tonya: Right. Okay.

Kristin: That would be the first place I would start. Um, and on that blog post you’re referring to, I have lots of links- Okay … to, to places that explain all this more, the, you know, kind of- Okay. So we, we can

Tonya: link in the show notes to that, that direct blog page- That post,

Kristin: yeah. …

Tonya: so they can go straight to that.

Kristin: Right. So. Yeah. So I, I explain it a little bit more, and then there’s some, if they wanna read more and… Yeah. Go to some free sites where you can, you know, you can print pictures- Okay … um, for free, or you can order, I have a link where you can, pay a little bit of money to order a pre-made kit. Okay. Um, again, I recommend real pictures, but.

Tonya: Well, yeah, ’cause then, then they’re connecting with this, this is Mom’s van. I know, I, I know this- Exactly … this is where I go in to get it. Mm-hmm. And maybe even from the angle that they’re approaching the car, too, so they recognize- Exactly, their

Kristin: car seat.

Tonya: Right.

Kristin: Mm-hmm.

Tonya: Right. The, um, all right. So what ages do you feel respond the best to this type of structure, using the boards, things like that?

Kristin: You know, it really depends on- It just really depends on, on what, uh, not just age, but developmentally- Developmentally … and behavior- Yeah … and behaviorally, um, one, where, what level, and two, what their needs are. So for instance, um, when our son was… When did we start this? We started this at a year and a half old.

He wasn’t speaking, um, and having a very difficult time. We were thankfully in a specialized preschool at a university that taught me all… I first learned this all as a mom- Okay … not as a professional.

Tonya: Right.

Kristin: And, you know, I’ve worked with families and children now, but as a, I, I went s- I went through the trenches as a mom learning this.

Um, he was one and a half. Intellectually, he was ready.

Tonya: Okay.

Kristin: Um, behaviorally, he really needed it, um, to function, and it, it, it was a little painful with the energy and the time doing it. Um, if you can get some training on this, if you’re able to convince insurance to cover ABA, um, applied behavioral analysis therapy in the home to help you with this, um, or a speech therapist, someone that can help you walk through this.

Tonya: Okay.

Kristin: Um, he, he was ready. It did take a while. We started with the first then board. Our daughter, however, on the other hand, we just started two years ago at 10. Okay. Because she was not developmentally ready until 10. Right.

Tonya: Okay, so it’s gonna depend from child to child.

Kristin: Exactly.

Tonya: and their understanding of it.

 I know with my kids, my daughter was actually reading books at three, so she- Hmm … she was probably a year old, or a year and a half like your son was, and would’ve been ready for this. We’ve talked about some of the examples of what you’re, what you’re doing. What are some of the things that, that have worked for your family?

I know you mentioned them in the article, but are there any other things that, that you found that, that work specifically for you?

Kristin: Token boards have worked beautifully, um, first for our son and now for our daughter. She’s doing very well with a reward. And I do have that visual- Exciting … if you want. Um, we have two different ones.

We, we’ve kind of transitioned to this one. I don’t know if you can see it.

Tonya: Okay. So there’s magnets at the bottom?

Kristin: Well, this one, this one I created. She loves baby dolls. Right. So you pick something, um, and it could be a laminated… We had a butterfly chart, but now we’re- … we’re doing the baby dolls. Our son, it was penguins.

He loved, obsessed with penguins. Um, and so his was a penguin chart. So, um, and again, you can start with as few as poss- I would start with what your child is gonna be successful at. So when they’re first doing this, maybe they just have to get one to get a prize. Um, and then we have wor- Bethany, we started with one then two.

We were on two forever. She’s up to six now.

Um, that, uh, so she, we’ve just, you know, you have to- eventually start to, to wean. Um, but if she, for instance, we use, we use it for if she does really well with pottying.

Um, if she listens and follows directions, and cleans up her toys like we ask, she gets a baby.

 And so she gets to put it up there. And she moves it. She gets to… They’re all down here on the bottom. So we say, “Good job,” praise, positive reinforcement. She, she thrives on praise. “You get a baby.” And so when she gets all five, she gets to go to her treasure box, which is a picture of the actual treasure-

her treasure box.

And pick a prize.

So this is a token board, but like I said, start out with just one or, they just have to get one or two. You want them to be successful. And it not be too hard.

Tonya: So the success that, that they would be getting this reward from would be, um, completing a task, making a transition, depending on what the child is struggling more with?

Is that what you would start with?

Kristin: I, I would recommend picking one behavior. Okay. One desired behavior. Um, we have, it’s kind of grown into Bethany understands now. If she does what she’s supposed to do, and she listens well, and she does it like that, when the timer goes off, she gets a baby. Um, but that has, that’s been years for her- Right

to progress to this level. Um, and depending on the child, they may progress very quickly. I recommend starting with one desired appropriate behavior, and that may be transitions.

Tonya: Okay.

Kristin: And we have this right next to her schedule, her schedule board. Okay. So if the timer goes off, she transitions, does the non-preferred activity like clean up toys, “You did a great job.

The timer went off, you cleaned up your toys, you get a baby.” Okay. And you have to be consistent. It has to be consistent. Um, and you can eventually generalize it to, “Hey, you did a great job with that task. You get a…” But start with one behavior.

Tonya: Okay.

Kristin: They did their schedule. They transitioned. They get a baby, or trade, or whatever.

Tonya: Right. What, what, whatever it is they’re… I, I like the idea of making that personal for them so that it’s something that they’re interested in- Mm-hmm. Right, right … and they want to, to see move.

Kristin: Princesses, you know?

Tonya: So then- … with the prize box, so is she earning a prize every day with this now?

Kristin: We, like I said, we’ve had to make it challenge, more challenging.

It was breaking the bank.

Tonya: Yeah.

Kristin: Um, so now

Tonya: she- That’s, that’s, that was

Kristin: what I’m thinking. I posted a picture of her on social media, that’s when we were still doing the butterflies recently. She earned a Baby Shark s- sheet set. Okay. And she, it was difficult to earn those six butterflies. Um, and she worked really hard, hard, and boy, she was proud.

And so, um, yeah, we’ve worked up to where she’s not getting a little prize every time. Um, it’s more that you have to- earn the big prize now. And so, and it might not be a treasure box. Take a picture, you know, like, so g- so this is a little more complicated than you should do. But if she gets to go to the treasure box, she can choose a butterfly or something in the treasure box.

That’s, that’s a whole nother- Okay … level I don’t rec- That’s why the butterflies are there.

Tonya: Okay.

Kristin: Um, but if you’re gonna do little prizes in the treasure box, start out really, really little. Like, like a package of something from the Dollar Tree where there’s, like, 10 in the package. Right. You know, we unfortunately started out with Dollar Tree stuff, and so every time she got, I think it was three, two or three maybe, she got a Dollar Tree prize.

Start out really little. You can always go bigger.

Tonya: Right. Right. Well, I’m thinking, too, depending on the child, you could do time on the iPad or something-

Kristin: Yes …

Tonya: as a prize, too. That’s

Kristin: actually what we did with our son.

Tonya: Okay.

Kristin: He earned, he earned time for the computer.

Tonya: Mm-hmm. ‘Cause I’m thinking b- both of my kids, um, computer time is what, is what they would- Yes

they would work for when we would do things.

Kristin: Whatever motivates your child most.

Tonya: personalize

Kristin: it

Tonya: Yeah. I mean, it c- it could be picking out a game to play after dinner or something, you know? Mm-hmm. So, so parents, listen- Quality time with, with parents … depending on your, yeah, depending- Yep … on your, your, your child and what, what they really enjoy doing.

Um- Mm-hmm … so it wouldn’t necessarily have to break the bank to do this, to- Exactly … go on. Yeah.

Kristin: That’s a really good point. Mm-hmm.

Tonya: But I’m thinking, too, depending on, like you’re saying, developmentally, it depends on the child, too, of where they are. Right. Because it s- sounds like Beth is getting to the point where she can retain the idea that she’s earned several of these- Right

now and is ready for a bigger prize- Right … with it, where she’s working for that. Like-

Kristin: Right …

Tonya: uh, uh, ’cause, ’cause you’re not gonna buy a sheet set every time she, she, she, she has a good

Kristin: day. Right.

Tonya: It

Kristin: still needs to be the immediate, she gets the baby. You know? Right. Behavior, baby right then. It, you know, it needs to be as, as…

And we actually take stuff when we travel, too. Okay. Um, we take boards. I was gonna ask you about that in just a minute. And we take, mm-hmm, take it when you travel. Um, and maybe, maybe they do something in public where we actually kept the penguins in our pocket when our son was little. Um, in public, you know, he would transition well.

Here’s a penguin. Yeah. Here’s a penguin. It’s okay. Um, so you may wanna take them with you and, and then, you know. And we, we kind of hold it over her a little bit, too, ’cause she understands.

Tonya: Right.

Kristin: We’re like, “Remember what you’re working for.”

Tonya: Yeah. What, now I, through the years I’ve done, um, different substitute teaching positions, and I’ve been in classrooms where they’re using this very well, and I never thought about doing this at home.

So I, I- Mm-hmm … and I’m thinking, a lot of the kids that we’re talking about, they’re doing this in school already. Exactly. So they’re used to having that reward structure set up where they’re working for a task. So maybe, um, for parents who have a school-age child, talking to the teacher to find out, what are you doing- Yes

in the classroom? How is it- Yes … how is it working? Yes,

Kristin: so it’s consistent-

Tonya: With- … from home

Kristin: to-

Tonya: Right … yes. That’s a good point. To, to find out how to start. You’d at least get an idea. Mm-hmm. Or maybe, maybe you could go and observe sometime and kind of see how, how it’s working. Um, I think most teachers- Mm-hmm

are, uh, well, with COVID, I don’t know what the rules are right now, but typically teachers are happy with, if a parent wants to be involved and to, to, to partner with them to support what they’re doing in school. ‘Cause then when they go back to school, they’ve had consistency while they were gone, so everything- Exactly

every-

Kristin: It’ll help at school.

Tonya: You know, uh, we’re- Mm-hmm … we’re, we’re winning on both ends with that. So.

Kristin: Exactly. Um, and, uh, one thing, important thing I forgot to mention, you don’t take them away.

Tonya: Okay.

Kristin: So this is a positive-

Tonya: So it’s never a negative,

Kristin: always a positive … reinforcement. Never take them away.

Tonya: Yeah, I

Kristin: like that.

Um, they’ve earned it. Um, and so, you know, positive reinforcement is, is, and praise, is so much more effective. And then I will say, back to siblings, if your child with additional needs has a board- We, we, it’s hard, but we’ve, you know, tried to do something similar, you know- Yeah … for our, our son. He has his own challenges, but, you know, uh, it, it’s hard, you know, ’cause if she’s getting these prizes, he, he should have some kind of- Exactly.

No, I, I agree … reward system too.

Tonya: I agree. And so, and some of those challenges are the patience that that sibling’s going to have to work through- Exactly … waiting to go to the things that they were waiting to do. And, and- Mm-hmm … there’s gotta be something that they, bigger that they wanna work toward, so maybe they could have a long-term project that they’re working toward, um, because they’re able to, to comprehend that and to work through that.

No, I, I, I think it’s very valid to say that. Um, the last question I had, um, was we talked about travel a little bit and taking it with you, maybe having it in your pocket. Have you had a situation where you’ve had guests in the home during these breaks, and how did you modify things during that time?

Kristin: That, that actually throws a whole nother level into it.

It’s even more important actually when you have guests that disrupt, one, a child’s space, and two-

Tonya: Mm-hmm …

Kristin: um, their routine. I could s- I- if you need to have additional pictures, maybe like a picture of who’s gonna be in the home-

Tonya: Oh,

Kristin: yeah … and preparing them actually ahead of time would be really important to say, “Hey, Grandy’s coming,” you know, “Grammy and Grandy are coming tomorrow, and we’re gonna spend time with them,” and, um, and so you could put on there, um…

For instance, my parents are coming this weekend.

Tonya: Okay.

Kristin: We could put a picture of our little above ground swimming pool and Grammy and Grandy next to it on the schedule, um, or put, um… And, and it may not be family, it could be friends coming over. Right. So, y- you know, it’d be important to whatever way you can put that on the schedule and prepare them.

Okay. “Hey, you’re s- you know, you’re still gonna get to do your preferred things today,” and maybe it is during the time that grandparents are there. They may need that time. Right. Um, but yeah, just preparing actually ahead of time would be very important.

Tonya: I’m, I’m thinking too that, um, f- on the parents’ side of it, the challenge may be in helping the guest that’s there understand what you’re doing.

Kristin: Mm-hmm.

Tonya: Because if they haven’t been in this environment before, they’re not- Right … going to necessarily understand why it’s important that you continue with the schedule.

Kristin: You know, trying to be consistent, um, even when they’re there and, and your guests may not understand.

Tonya: Sometimes it’s okay to question things.

In this case, sometimes it’s okay just to say, “This, this is how we do it.”

Kristin: This could be a very good opportunity- if, you know, they’re open to, to you showing them, it could be a very good opportunity to show what it’s like if you use the schedule board, what a difference it makes- Right … with a child. Um, and they might see, okay, wow, that was almost magical that Joni went over and cleaned up his toys, and then went to the schedule board, and then went straight without a meltdown.

So they might see how effective it is- True … and maybe Joni really does need that support. Right. Maybe it isn’t just par- bad parenting. Now, I would not blame a parent who has difficult relationships with a family member or parents- Right … if they didn’t do it.

Tonya: Because of the different types of relationships- Right

that we have, it’s not always gonna be easy to stand that ground. Um, but I did wanna ask about that- Right … if you, if you had had any tips for parents on that, because I, I know, uh, the odds are we have someone listening who is going to have that situation. And- Right … and I don’t know how I would handle it.

It’s, um-

Kristin: You know, the battle may not be worth it, but then again, you know, you know your limits as a parent. Right. But it is an amazing opportunity for people who don’t understand or don’t support you to witness, wow, that really helps.

Tonya: Yeah. And, and, and it’s a new concept. The same as it is- Right … for us as parents when we first start out and are learning these skills, our parents, our siblings, our friends that come may never have had this opportunity yet.

And you’re right, I, I like- Mm-hmm … that idea, and it would make them more supportive for you as you’re moving forward now too. So now you have an ally who understands what you’re doing, and when you’re talking to them, they, they, they understand why you might need to hang up on the phone because it’s time for a transition now.

Right. Right. And, um, and not be offended, but to know that, yes, this is, this is a, it, it, I, I, I was gonna say a coping strategy, but it really isn’t a coping strategy. This is, this is a life skill that needs to happen.

It really is a life skill, isn’t it? As Kristin reminded us, setting up these visual systems takes a lot of front-loaded energy, especially when you’re already running on empty. But that investment pays dividends in peace, predictability, and fewer daily meltdowns for the entire family. If you want to grab the visual timer apps, the schedule kits, or read Kristin’s original deep dive blog post, I have updated all of those links for you in today’s show notes.

As we navigate this collaborative advocacy journey together this summer, remember to give yourself some grace and carve out those special pockets of self-care. If this episode helped you breathe a little easier today, please hit subscribe and share it with another parent who might be struggling through the summer stretch.

And if you want to learn more about what Kristin and her husband Todd are doing to help strengthen the marriage relationship for parents who have children with disabilities, be sure to listen to the interview I had with them about their work and their book, How to Build a Thriving Marriage as You Care for Children with Disabilities.

Thanks for listening today. I’ll see you next week

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ):

1. Why does my child struggle so much with transitions when school lets out for break? School environments offer high levels of predictability. When that structure drops away unexpectedly, it can trigger anxiety, as children struggle to anticipate what happens next in their day.
2. What is the difference between a first-then board and a full visual schedule? A full schedule displays a sequence of multiple activities across an entire morning or afternoon. A first-then board simplifies focus by showing only two items: a non-preferred task that must occur first, followed immediately by a preferred reward.
3. Can I use generic clip-art or icons I download online for our family schedule? While free online graphics are accessible, using actual smartphone photos of your car, your child’s specific car seat, or your actual bathroom creates a clearer mental connection for a child who needs strong context.
4. How do I prevent token systems from costing too much money over time? Start small with highly divisible items (like multi-packs from discount stores) or pivot toward experiential rewards, such as earned screen time, picking out a family card game, or spending dedicated one-on-one time with a parent.
5. What should I do if extended family or guests don’t respect our schedule when visiting? Treat the visit as an educational window. Maintaining your visual system consistently allows guests to see the tangible benefits directly when transitions proceed smoothly without an emotional meltdown.