In this interview, Tonya Wollum, the host of the Water Prairie Chronicles, chats with Latisha Anderson about the challenges and triumphs of raising a child with a disability. Latisha shares her perspective on how parents can empower their children to overcome limitations and setbacks. Latisha shares some of the setbacks she has faced in her own life in addition to having a learning disability, and she speaks of her role today as the parent of a child with special needs. Here are the key takeaways: -- Don't perpetuate limitations: Instead of focusing on what a child cannot do, emphasize what they can do. -- View setbacks as learning experiences: When a child encounters a challenge, reframe it as an opportunity to learn and grow. -- Be your child's advocate: Don't hesitate to question or challenge professionals if you disagree with their recommendations. -- Collaborate with professionals: Work together with professionals to create the best possible environment for your child's success. -- Foster a strong and independent mindset: Encourage your child to be their own advocate and to believe in themselves. IMPORTANT NOTE: This conversation does touch on some mature themes, so please use your discretion if you have little ones listening along. Connect with Latisha: Website: https://accf.coach/ Order Latisha's book, Embrace Your UGLY: https://amzn.to/4dwLGJe (** As an Amazon Associate, I may earn from qualifying purchases. **) Are you getting our newsletter? If not, subscribe at https://waterprairie.com/newsletter Support our podcast and help us share more incredible stories by making a donation at Buy Me A Coffee. Your contribution makes a significant impact in bringing these stories to light. Thank you for your support! https://BuyMeACoffee.com/waterprairie Music Used: “LazyDay” by Audionautix is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Artist: http://audionautix.com/ Latisha’s Bio: Latisha Anderson is an experienced Master Mindset Coach who has helped countless individuals, corporations, and groups transform their lives. Her expertise lies in providing her clients with the necessary tools and resources to evolve and achieve their goals. With her guidance, clients can develop a positive mindset and gain the confidence to overcome any obstacle. Latisha was diagnosed in Kindergarten with a Learning Disability, and she was in SLD until she graduated high school.

“They Said My Child Couldn’t…”:

Show Notes:

Watch How This Mom is Advocating for a Child With Special Needs.

In this interview, Tonya Wollum, the host of the Water Prairie Chronicles, chats with Latisha Anderson about the challenges and triumphs of raising a child with a disability. Latisha shares her perspective on how parents can empower their children to overcome limitations and setbacks. Latisha shares some of the setbacks she has faced in her own life in addition to having a learning disability, and she speaks of her role today as the parent of a child with special needs. Here are the key takeaways:

• Don’t perpetuate limitations: Instead of focusing on what a child cannot do, emphasize what they can do.
• View setbacks as learning experiences: When a child encounters a challenge, reframe it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
• Be your child’s advocate: Don’t hesitate to question or challenge professionals if you disagree with their recommendations.
• Collaborate with professionals: Work together with professionals to create the best possible environment for your child’s success.
• Foster a strong and independent mindset: Encourage your child to be their own advocate and to believe in themselves.

IMPORTANT NOTE: This conversation does touch on some mature themes, so please use your discretion if you have little ones listening along.

👉Connect with Latisha:

• 💻 Website: https://accf.coach/

🌟Order Latisha’s book, Embrace Your UGLY:

• https://amzn.to/4dwLGJe
• (** As an Amazon Associate, I may earn from qualifying purchases. **)

📰 Are you getting our newsletter? If not, subscribe at https://waterprairie.com/newsletter

👉 Support our podcast and help us share more incredible stories by making a donation at Buy Me A Coffee. Your contribution makes a significant impact in bringing these stories to light. Thank you for your support!

• https://BuyMeACoffee.com/waterprairie

Music Used:

“LazyDay” by Audionautix is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Artist: http://audionautix.com/

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Episode #96: Is Your Child’s Potential Being Limited? How Advocating for a Child With Special Needs Makes a Difference!

“They Said My Child Couldn’t…”: Watch How This Mom is Advocating for a Child With Special Needs.

(Recorded April 8, 2024)

Full Transcript of Interview:

Latisha: That’s where the strength comes from because people realize that they’re not by their self. That’s a good feeling to know that it’s not just me. I wasn’t the only person out there struggling. That’s why we got to stop being so secretive. You don’t have to tell everybody everything, but there are times when you release your words.

Tonya: In today’s video, we’re diving into the world of advocating for a child with special needs. I recently met with Latisha Anderson, a special needs advocate, mindset coach, and author who shared her insights and tips on empowering your child and becoming their strongest voice. Whether you’re new to the journey or looking to refine your advocacy skills, this interview is packed with valuable information.

Today’s episode is a little different format from my usual interviews. We’re jumping in during the conversation and as a word of caution, there are some mature themes that are discussed today, so, please use discretion if you have little ones listening along. All right, let’s join the conversation with Latisha Anderson.

And so you can’t, you can’t always jump to a conclusion that you think it is, you know, and, and this is something that I talk a lot about when I talk, talk on other platforms is you have to ask questions. You can’t just assume that the child that’s in front of you or even the adult that’s in front of you is being offensive, is trying to do something, is being insolent or is trying to not comply with you.

Sometimes there’s something. Totally different going on and you’re just misreading the situation and that comes to us. We have to communicate with each other. We have to ask, you know, I started telling my son’s teachers through the years. Um, did you ask him why? You know, you, you have my permission to say in a pleasant tone, what were you thinking?

Because there’s really more to this story than, than, than you’re assuming.

That, no, really, because you would think as educators they would know to do that, but they don’t, they get, they get so defensive, you know, like my son, he told the teacher that sharing was not caring, and they had the audacity to call me to the school, and they, that was an issue, because he said sharing wasn’t caring.

And I asked him, I said, “why, why is sharing not caring Isaiah?” He said, “because if I give her all of my toys then I don’t have anything left, how is that caring?” I said, “you’re absolutely right. Let’s go home.”

Like, and I stopped saying that because sharing doesn’t mean I have to give you something because you want it, that doesn’t entitle you to anything. And so I had to stop like, and I, and I’ve always been an advocate for my kids. So, when I have meetings, when I would have meetings with the staff in the school, and I’m literally called the regional director over the ESC department. And I said, I think it’s in your best interest to be here because then, you know, back in the day, they used to send notes, like the little progress reports home that was just, Oh, this, this, this, and this, they’re going to find that that ain’t even about his grading because he was struggling in his grades.

I said, so, how stupid is this to send me about his behavior? But you’re not telling me that my son is not passing. I have a problem with that I say and then on top of that I have a problem With the teacher because she started talking to me and she started moving her neck like this And I said ma’am, this is not that kind of family.

I said my son does not come from a dysfunctional household That’s not how we talk. This is a two-parent household because his dad was right there, too I said I’m his advocate. I’m not coming against your teaching methods I said, I’m coming against the system that is designed to keep my son from getting where he need to be.

Now, if you’re a part of the problem, then that’s your business. But I’m telling you, don’t take this personal. When I came in here, I wasn’t going to believe nothing any of you said, because I’m going to believe my son first. And then so like the regional director lady that was there, she was like, and she asked me, Latisha, what do you mean?

I said, because I know him and I know he’s going to tell me his truth. So, you can tell me yours, but in my mind, you’re not telling me the truth. I’m going to always advocate for my son. Now, if he done something wrong, I won’t correct him in front of you. I’ll correct him when we get home because then teachers, adults, they get that mmm and they can be petty like kids sometimes and you know, they want to just say, “Oh, your mom already said this and you know, she said that and don’t keep being bad and all this other kind of stuff.” I said, we’re not going to have that. And I’m not going to give you the weapon to use against my son. So, let’s talk about something else.

Let’s talk about these grades and why you worried about me signing this notebook and this ain’t got nothing to do with his grades. I said, this is dumb. I’m saying I told y’all in the beginning to put him in ESC. Y’all the ones that said, well, no, he’s going to the first grade. So, we’re just going to try it.

I said, you threw my son out the water. You ain’t even prep him. You just threw him out the water and said, okay, let’s see what happens. I said, so, clearly y’all didn’t want him to pass. And so the, like it was on a Friday, we had this meeting by Monday. My son was in the ESC class. They called me on a Sunday, the principal and was like, Ms. Anderson, we just want you to know that we’ve already switched his class home. He’s already, it was like, it was nothing. I said, “No.” Because again, somebody else’s understanding and interpretation because people want to be so offended by everything instead of learning how this person may possibly communicate and we’re not going to do that.

So, we as parents have to be our children’s biggest advocates whether they have a disability or not. You still have to be in the corner for your kid because the system the teachers are not the same anymore and I get it like teachers can get abused you know what I’m saying like physically mentally emotionally But at the end of the day, you can’t take it out on the kids.

That’s not that’s not the issue. You know what I’m saying? What are you doing? You treat everybody the same? No

So, I graduated from college in ’87 with an education degree, supposedly ready to go out there and, and run my classroom. I knew about classroom management. You know, I could, I could flash the lights. I could, I could whisper in and get them to clap after me to get them to, to, to follow what I was doing.

But I didn’t know anything about disabilities, about differences in learning. We were just, in ’87, we were just really uncovering some of that as an educational system, but. I wonder sometimes, and I have through the years as my kids had different teachers, are they just as unprepared as I was coming out of school now?

And I think, I think until they have an experience with someone, it’s really hard. So, a lot of times we as parents are their first experience with having a rational conversation about why we might need to ask our kids something differently, or, or why they may need to have a little extra help. Just sitting in the front row of the, of the room doesn’t always solve the problem.

Sometimes that’s not the solution at all. They need to be on the back row so they can move around a little bit.

Absolutely.

So, I think a lot of times it’s just, it’s a matter of education. My, um, my daughter had a situation in middle school where it was, it was her first major bully situation. She told me about it.

It was just some boys just being, being nasty. So, I asked her, I said, you know, well, what would you like for me to do? You know, do you want me to call the school? Do you want, do you want us to try to have a meeting? And she said, no, they’re just uneducated and they need to, to learn a few things. And she walked away and it was like, wow, I wish I could have done that.

Right. Because they’re more mature than we give them credit for.

Yeah, but, but she was right. You know, as a seventh grader, she already recognized that a lot of these behaviors, whether it’s adults or kids, it’s because a lack of education. They don’t, they, they haven’t met us yet. They don’t know what a lot of these kids have been through in they’re seven, eight, nine years of life. They’ve had a lot of hardships already. They’ve learned to overcome a lot of things. They don’t need to deal with you now on top of all that, you know.

I want to make sure that we talk about what you’re doing too. So, tell me a little bit about your coaching that you’re doing.

So, I do Master Mindset coaching and that is being intentional, like learning how to be intentional, not allowing life to consume the way you operate, right? Because based off what life gave me, I had a learning disability. I was violated, molested, raped as a child. I grew up in an abusive household. My mom and me are only 14 years apart.

So, life was throwing stuff at me. You know what I’m saying? Like, boom, boom, just hitting me with stuff. And that started to condition the way I reacted, responded, and replied. So, I was the mean girl. I was the bully. I was the rude grandchild. I was the mouthy teenager. I was the fast in the behind. You know, girl nobody couldn’t tell me nothing.

But life, was giving me adult situations and adults were reacting to me as if I was an adult. You get what I’m saying? I was not. And so, if you don’t get out of that mindset, right? That life has been doing what it does. And life was tearing me up. Like it was just fighting me like this. Then you never actually grow.

You allow life to shape you. You allow circumstances to shape you. And it wasn’t until I got older and I started to realize that I didn’t want to be the mean girl. I didn’t want to be the one that when I walked in the room somebody assumed a thing. I didn’t want to always when I had a conversation or a disagreement that I automatically started yelling, right.

Because that’s the only way I knew how to communicate. Because for so many years I was crying out for help, but nobody knew that that’s what it was. That I was just angry. Well, who would not be angry if your father is being abusive to your mother and you’re seeing this, right? Who would not be angry if you’re going to your aunt’s house because that’s supposed to be the safe place and that’s where you’re being raped, violated, and molested.

Like, who would not be angry and then you don’t know who to tell because the violator has told you if you say anything, your dad’s going to go to jail and it’s going to be your fault, right? So, life is still conditioning me. Life is still bullying me, life. You get what I’m saying? And it’s just kind of like how do I shift that mindset?

I don’t want to be having a conversation and now all of a sudden I’m yelling. Like we’re screaming and yelling at each other and it wasn’t, it literally, I got older, I realized like me and my cousins could be having a conversation, but you would think we were straight arguing and fussing with each other, right?

Because It’s like why all of us that’s how we talk because that’s how we communicate, you know in the house and being told young you know, um for my grandmother. I love her now. I love her. She passed away Um, and I love her but she’s the one who literally told me God ain’t hear nothing I had to say He didn’t want to hear me and you know, and then I’m 10 and my auntie walks in and at 10 years old, and it’s like, I love these people now.

Like we’ve all matured and grown, but then, but then, um, when I was like in fifth grade and she walked in the room and me and my cousins were playing and she said, don’t play with that —. And I was like, I’m 10 and so I walked out and I was crying. But my grandma, again, because I’m the mouthy one, I don’t want to listen, you know, nobody can’t tell me anything, but I’m being abused on every level, emotionally, physically, you know, even spiritually because now you’re telling me God don’t even hear me. So, it’s like, what did I do that was so wrong that your words are attacking me? To physically now we physically being attacked because my aunt and me had it like we went blow for blow and I’ve been tall Since I can remember so she literally said she wanted to fight me for a long time and I was like, okay I was in fifth grade.

I was 10 and Not even understanding any of that. And I just remember at like 16 is when I gave my life to God. Like, that’s when I got saved, right? But that didn’t stop the emotional issues and the mental issues that had already started to compact my life. So, then I caught myself every service. Like, I’m going to the altar.

You know, I’m repenting every service. I’m trying, but nothing’s really changing. And it wasn’t that I did not want it to change, it’s just that I wasn’t in the place to understand that I had to intentionally target what I wanted to change. I wasn’t sure how to articulate that, right? I didn’t know how I was going to be able to do it because nobody had shown me how to do it.

Nobody who was in my bloodline knew how to do it because they still operating in the trauma of their life. My mother again had me when she was 14. My grandmother got married at 13, was in a very abusive relationship. The husband kidnapped my auntie, so, life. Was conditioning them, right? She was born in, my grandmother was born in 1945.

So, you know, and they were an interracial family. So, they couldn’t even go into town together. Like it was one of those things. And all they kept doing was passing down the trauma, the hurt and the pain from generation to generation. You know, a lot of people like to say generational curses. I like to say generational silence.

If you break the silence, you break the curse. If my grandmother had told her daughters, don’t let grown men touch you that should not be touching you, then my aunties and my mom then would not have necessarily been violated. And if they had said Tisha, you know, and the rest of my cousins, they had been clear about what that was, right?

Then again, almost every woman in my family had been violated. Like literally again, nobody’s saying nothing. So, the auntie who called me, you know, a harlot, she didn’t say harlot, but the one who told me that she had been violated and raped and was told it was her fault and had gotten in trouble. So, she took that trauma and passed it to us.

I’m her niece and her daughter. So, she talks so harsh to us, right? Because that’s what was done to her. And so, again, going and realizing that dang, I got the ability to do these things like I wanted to own my own business, but I got a learning disability. So, I struggle with reading, I struggle with understanding certain things and my patience is not that long when it comes to certain things.

And it’s just like, wait a minute, like, I don’t want to be this way. So, it wasn’t until I had my third son and I had to learn how to be intentional about stuff. Stop letting life just knock me, you know what I’m saying? And it’s like, I had to get strong and be steadfast. Like the Word says, be steadfast, unmovable, always abounding.

Like you gotta be clenched in it. And you’ve got to be so sturdy in your truth that you are willing to embrace. Like, I had came out, I wrote a book and everything called Embrace Your UGLY because that’s how God gave it to me. I had to embrace those things, those ugly things. Ugly means displeasing to look at.

I say ugly is displeasing to look at, displeasing to hear, displeasing to think about, displeasing to know. Because sometimes those ugly things are what torments you. the most, right? And I had to embrace it. And again, God gave it to me. “U” is for unique, “G” is for genuine, “L” is for love, and “Y” is for you. You got to embrace your UGLY.

Like, we all ugly. Everybody. No, life can throw you some hard punches. What are you going to do with it? And I had to learn how to embrace it. And when I embraced my truth, the violation, The rapes the abuse when I embraced all of that and I didn’t embrace it all at the same time Because I couldn’t have done it I had to acknowledge the pain that came with it and then you know Like when you embrace something you break it in clothes, but when you do that that gives you the authority to release it And then I had to release it and I released it one by one and some of the stuff came back Because you get again I’m in my 30s when I’m getting these revelations, right?

Um, so, it was coming back to me, but I didn’t hold on to them as long as I was holding on to them And then so my disability the way I processed information Had equipped me to hear what people was really saying even when they were not saying so I knew how to break it down You And say, okay, so, this is what you’re saying, and they’re literally staring at me like, how did you, you know, how did you put that?

Wait a minute, you know, the very ugly thing that made me embarrassed and ashamed is the very thing that God used to uplift somebody else. But I had to go through it to tell you how to intentionally shift your mindset and I’m adamant about that, you know, and so it’s just like it evolved over the years because just mindset matters And then last year I went through this dramatic transformation, right and in 2020 I found out that I had a brain tumor that was benign and then Um, it’s like they say don’t worry about it.

We’ll see you in 40 years. So, I’m going by what they say in two years You My hearing and my right ear gone. I started getting bad headaches, my dizziness, I couldn’t turn my head, none of that stuff. And I go back in May of 2022, and I get an MRI, and the MRI say that the same tumor that was slow growing, that they not going to see me for 40 years, had doubled in size.

It explained why I was getting the headaches while I was getting didn’t. Like turning my head, you know, again, now my mindset and my faith, they got to come together because a lot of times that’s what keep us from achieving our truth. And because our mindset is horribly stricken and our faith, it’s just saying, but we ain’t really live, right?

We just stand. And so sometimes we’ll have our faith in something, but our mindset is so stuck on what life threw at us. That we’re accepting and because again, fear and faith, neither one of these need proof. You don’t need proof to have fear, and you don’t need proof to have faith. Neither one of them.

You just see the evidence and the manifestations of whatever one you are connected to. Right? So, if it’s fear, you’re going to see all the fearful things manifest. If it’s faith, you’re going to see all the faithful things manifest. But, before that, there’s no proof. Right. So, again, I wrote a book, Embrace Your Ugliness, everything.

And then they telling me this tumor that I’ve been believing God gonna dissolve. I done changed my eating habits. I went vegan. I’ve been praying, you know, just, oh, touching my head and all that kind of stuff. And God’s gonna do it and speak in positive and walk it in. I wasn’t just talking, I was walking in.

Heh heh. Before 2023, I got one of the worst headaches I ever got in my life that I just stayed in the bed. I was still encouraging people talking on the phone and everything, not knowing what was really happening. February the 27th of 2023, I go to the ER because the headache won’t go away, and I had a conversation with my family, like I was about to die.

It was just weird, like I knew something wasn’t right, but I wasn’t quite sure what it was. And then. I go to the ER in Tallahassee, and they come back in and they basically say, Uh, Latisha, we’re glad you came in here today, and they showed me the x rays, and my brain was swelling. Which is why I kept saying it felt like my brain was coming out my skull.

Then March 1st, I had to have the first emergency surgery. And then I had to wait until the 28th of March to have the second surgery. And that was 16 hours long because the tumor had been so big that there was no more room. And so the tumor had already took the hearing, right, and the nerves, and I couldn’t really close my eye and my smile was not the same.

It was already doing those things. And I was, I’m not going to lie, I was very disappointed. With myself and with God because I was like now wait a minute You said we ask and it shall be given. If you knock the door gonna be open if we seek you we gonna find you now wait and He had a whole conversation with me and he was like, but that’s not faith That’s you wanting to get what you want and I was like, but ain’t that what that’s what the people say you said now That’s what they they told me you said If I ask it shall be given and the example he gave me Was the one with his son, Jesus, not his own son, his only begotten son, right?

And he was in the garden of Gethsemane. And then when he was praying so much, he was sweating blood. And he was saying, please let this cup pass from me, right? But he said, not my will, but your will be done. That’s the faith. The faith, cause see, Jesus was like, do you really want me to go through all this stuff?

Like a match. I got to be beat. All this, and these people not gonna even really be with me like this. You don’t see a life. My, my crew don’t feel asleep. Like you, you really want me to do this. But the faith is not believing that what you want is gonna happen. The faith is knowing that what God wants to happen is going to happen And the faith is that you don’t even got no proof about the outcome You just believing and knowing the outcome is going to be that he gets the glory Because a lot of times we want the glory.

We want the miracle. It’s our miracle I didn’t I didn’t I didn’t do nothing for this miracle. It was him He did this is his miracle. This is his doing I’m a manifestation Of his miracle and so going into that shifted my faith Going into this process shifted my mindset to where they had to become friends because now I’m being told After the surgery, I’m gonna need a trachea.

Now I’m being told after the surgery I’m gonna probably have to do a couple of months in a in house rehab That’s what I’m hearing. And so going into the surgery a very unusual peace You know what I’m saying? That peace that surpasses all understanding. This is when I had my true encounters with God.

This is when everything started to come together. This is when I kind of sort of started to understand His vision for my life. Not my own vision. I had already went through the bumps and bruises. In my mind, I had already been through enough. Why are you going to do this to me? You know, like, like God, I done been through molestation, rape, abuse, bullying, then being bullied, bullying people and being bullied.

I’ve been through all this stuff.

More than enough.

That’s what I’m thinking. I’m like, I’ve been through more than enough. I think I’m qualified to be, you know. What am I doing here? And he was like, that’s so cute. However, it’s something else. And so I had to shift because each process in your life requires a different level of faith. And we, the faith I use in 2023, it’s not going to get me through 2024.

You know how they say go from glory to glory to glory. That’s how faith shifts. Because the faith that got me through being violated, you know, molested, raped, all that stuff. It ain’t the same faith I needed to get through this brain surgery. It’s not the same faith I needed. You know what I’m saying? This is a whole different level of faith.

To where God had to literally shift my mind and say, He said, what you scared of? All you got to do is go to sleep. And I was like, wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, you know how you just have a moment. He’s like, he said, Latisha, you’re not doing the surgery. You’re not the one that’s got to make sure that you do it accurately.

You know that you get it. All you have to do is go to sleep. You ain’t going to feel nothing. Just go to sleep. And I had to rest in that. So, the only thing I remember from that day is that when I seen my surgeon, cause he looked like Superman, he looked like Clark Kent. And I said, Hey, Superman, and he said, Hey, and that was it.

That’s all I remember. They said towards the 16th hour, I started waking up. Like my body was like, that’s it. I’m done. I’m over it. That’s what they said. I remember when I was back in the room, I opened my eyes and I just seen a guy standing beside me. I didn’t know he was the one that was coming to take, you know, how to put the thing in your mouth so you can breathe or whatever.

He was coming to take that out. So, I was like, no, I seen the dude, you know, like you in and out and stuff like that. And so my husband and them were prepared for me to sleep like the whole day. But evidently on the 29th by seven o’clock, I was awake and alert and just was like, Hey, you know, like talking and the staff started coming in and we were like,

So, no tracheotomy.

They had to bring, you know, they bring, they brought ice, water and crackers, graham crackers to see if I was gonna be able to swallow and stuff. But by the time she brought it, my mom had already brought me a sub, a veggie sub because again, I was vegan, so, and I up eating the sub and she was like, Leticia, she had the stuff in her hand.

She. Again, again, this is how His miracles unfold because then the conversation started like what was happening was getting to the doctors and I wasn’t like, I didn’t see their reactions or hear them, but I knew they were coming in because I had two surgical teams, you know, like I had, uh, One who was doing the brain and then the ear nose and throat person.

So, that was the one that had to guide him through making sure like everything was like it need to be that he ain’t cut Nothing. He wasn’t supposed to cut and it’s just like your mindset has to be prepared for the after Right? Like we go through stuff, but our mind isn’t necessarily prepared for the after.

In my mind, I was never going to have no surgery. Neither was I going through radiation. I wasn’t doing none of that. That’s how I saw my miracle. That’s not how God saw my miracle. You know what I’m saying? And that’s not how he saw his miracle, because it’s not mine, it’s his. And so through that process, I’ve seen myself elevate, even my own mindset.

Even my own shifting, even learning how to create a plan within the midst of a plan, right? Have you written it down? Have you written the vision? Have you made it plain? Like, have you done these things to prepare? Because again, faith, there is no proof. So, what is it that you want to do? This year, 2024, I’ve had the most speaking engagements.

An invitation to speak in podcast interviews that I’ve had since I started my business and I started my business 2010. And then in 2017, it shifted. So, 2010, I was doing mentorships and stuff like that within the community and I was doing dance through the arts like church music, I think they call it praise dancing.

And then it shifted in 2017 to this. And in 2024, I already have speaking engagements all the way until October.

Again, His will. But you have to shift your mindset. And it’s a daily, daily thing. And again, I could use a lot of excuses. I can say I have a learning disability I don’t read that well, I don’t talk that well, you know, and again the fact that I articulate as good as I do.

Very well.

Compared to the fact that I don’t these muscles over here these nerves they’re gone How do I explain what I do?

I am the example of shifting your mindset that is the miracle, right, that I’m talking to you. Clearly, there is no slur in my speech, you know, and I may not look like how I want to look, but I’ve gotten so used to it that when I see myself communicating with you, when it’s looking back at me, I no longer see the issue, you know, like how I can’t think of his name But he had a thorn in his flesh in his side And you have to get to the place where you don’t even see it no more Where it doesn’t even disturb you anymore because when you don’t see the issue other people don’t see the issue It’s when you keep seeing it that’s because that’s why they keep seeing it.

But when you no longer see it That’s when I realized my faith and my mindset, it was like doing this and I had to wear it every day. Faith, you got to put it on every day, put it on before you go to sleep and put it on when you wake up. It’s every day.

So, I have some questions for you just through hearing your whole story and I love that you share so openly about your experiences.

Any one of those issues that you faced growing up would be enough to put somebody aside? And God has protected you through all of this to bring you to where you are today. And, and, and I love that, that you’re so open about this, but I wanted to go back to when you were younger, you talked about how you were, you, you, you would yell back, you would push back and all this.

But that you didn’t want to be doing that. Did you recognize as a young teen, I’m thinking those are those, those tough years where you get all these tough girls out there, did you recognize that you really just wanted to be loved and to be accepted and not to have to deal with all that? So, with you inside, you, you, you, you saw that in yourself.

Yes. Cause I would cry instantly. I would say it as it came out of my mouth and it could be the most harsh, evil thing I could think of, I would feel so bad instantly, like it wasn’t even, it took, it didn’t take days and then tears was starting to fall down my face. Like as I’m seeing it, as I’m being the mean girl.

As I’m doing what’s been done to me, I’m crying. And then, so, you know, people think that’s a weakness. So, I started again because I think a little different and be like, you better be glad I’m crying because as long as I’m crying, you’re good. But when I’m not crying, it’s a problem. And that was true because when I was not crying, then the empathy or the sympathy that was behind what it was that I was about to say, you weren’t getting that.

But as long as I was crying, that was that connection I had that this is not right, you shouldn’t be doing this. You know when people would be like, she’s so mean, don’t play with her. And it’s like, oh man, you know, like your heart, that, that made me emotional right there. It just sink, because that’s not who I wanted to be.

That’s not who I woke up and said, I’ma be the mean girl. You know, and even in elementary school and in middle school is when I remember and it sticks out to me and I feel so bad. I can’t even remember the girl’s name. And she was, you know, she had the blonde hair. She was like pale and everything. And she was giggling and laughing with her friends.

She was not talking to me. She was not doing anything to me. I’ll, I’ll remember this day we were outside. And her teeth were kind of yellow, right? And I was like, man, I know my teeth are yellow, but yours look like gold caps. And from that day forward, I felt so horrible. She turned so red in the face because she had not done nothing to me.

That girl hadn’t done nothing to me. She hadn’t said nothing to me. I don’t even know who she was. Right. And it’s just like, how can you be so evil?

Well, cause you were hurting.

Yup. And because they picked on me, you know, like people picked on me. So, I’m going to pick on somebody who’s weaker than me, but I didn’t want to become what was happening.

And I realized that I was in eighth grade. I know exactly where I was at. I know I was in sixth grade at Greenwood Lakes Middle in Florida. And I, I still remember that day and it sticks with me and I am 45, about to be 46. And I still remember vividly that day. I still remember her face and what her teeth looked like, very clear.

And it’s like, I don’t want to be that girl. I don’t want to be her. I don’t ever want to be, I don’t ever want my words to destroy someone. And that’s why I always say words have power. We give life. Words have life, we give them power and you just got to realize that it goes hand in hand.

Well, the reason I ask that is because we were talking earlier about how our kids can be misunderstood and sometimes we have to ask the right questions to kind of get behind what the behavior is.

That goes beyond just kids who have a disability or have a learning disability. I mean, if we, if we could somehow find the way to think the best of everybody that we met. I couldn’t even imagine what the world would be like because we all respond from that young age, five, six years old even, we’re already doing it.

You know, we’re reacting to the emotion of the moment. We’re trying to cover our own shame, our own guilt. We’re trying to make someone else feel worse so that we can feel better. You know, it’s a convoluted logic. But a lot walk through the world and that’s how they face it. That if I can make you hurt more than me, then I’ve won, but nobody won in that situation.

Everybody’s losing on that one. And as you shared generation, you know, your, your, your grandmother, we’re, we’re going back to, you know, year after year, generation after generation of just hurting women that are coming through here who didn’t know how to fix the problem. So, responding just like you did, they were, you know, every time doing the same.

Thank you for making the change and breaking this. And I’m so glad that you said that you have a good relationship now.

Yeah. Well, my auntie, she had a nervous breakdown during COVID. So, like 2020, because my other aunt brought up that my aunt had been raped. She did it. And mind they’re both in their sixties.

So, what would make this come up out your mouth? And my auntie just it triggered her. But again, even though it was a bad thing, it was needed. She needed it because she didn’t realize that even though she was in her 60s, she still was carrying that baby with her. She was still caring that hurt. She was still carrying that anger.

And my other aunt, she was still carrying it too, you know, cause she said it out of spite. I don’t even think she know why she said it. And my aunt had to literally, she literally had to be —– like she had to —– herself. The doctor said, you’re going to do it. I’m going to do it. But if it was not for that, my aunt would have never got the help that she needed.

She needed to see a therapist because she had never seen it. She didn’t know how to articulate the hurt and the abuse. So, yeah, it was a bad thing because sometimes God always don’t do things the way we think He’s going to do. You know, we wanted to be pretty. He said, no, this is not going to be pretty.

This is going to be ugly because it’s an ugly thing that happened to you. So, I’m going to need something ugly. You know how you got to just push it out. You know, you got to squeeze it because you need all that infection to come out. And when you’re squeezing like a bump, that don’t feel good. But you got to get what’s in there out and that’s what He had to do.

And I, I felt bad for my aunt, but it also was like a relief because then her and her daughters were able to have a real conversation about what life had dealt to them without being angry. And now one of them, the oldest one, they didn’t have a relationship. They have a relationship now. So, it’s just kind of like, it was an ugly thing, but it had happened.

And so I’m thinking of those that may be listening, you know, most of my audience are parents of, of young children with disabilities, and they may, they may be thinking, well, I can’t really relate to this, but I think you can, if you’re listening to this, because you’re, We’re, we’re talking about specific situations that have happened in Latisha’s life, but your child has issues where they’re going to sometimes be in a situation where they’re misunderstood, where they feel like they have to prove themselves. And if you can address this understanding, then I think this conversation is valuable for you to hear that and to know that behind the behaviors, and it may be that classmate that’s, that’s bullying your child.

If you can help your child see past the bullying. That may end up being their best friend if they can figure out how they can make that connection. And, and we always say this, but I think it’s absolutely true that the behavior, there’s always something behind that behavior. And a lot of times it’s pain that’s reaching out.

And from what you’ve shared, You, you, you’ve exactly described that. Um, like with Emily, when she was describing when she was in middle school, the boys, they, they just didn’t understand. They were just, just not educated enough to understand the right thing. And, um, they did not become friends, but, but she didn’t carry any grudge against them.

And that’s the healing process. Like that’s part of growing up, like. Because if you carry the hate and the hurt, they’re winning. Like I tell my clients this all the time. If somebody can come in a room or you could hear their voice and they change how you react, how you respond, how you reply, your whole mood, they control you, you’re losing, so, let it go. Now, I can easily say that now, but I couldn’t say that, you know, like, it sounds good now, but you know, I had to learn how to let that stuff go because it wasn’t until like one of my violators that he died, right? And I tell this story because I need people to understand, like, how life can have you in the castle.

And my cousin called me because he, my violator, was her father, right? So, she crying on the phone to tell me that her daddy died. And I’m crying on the phone, right? Because I’m like, I’m crying because she crying, but then I realized that ain’t really why I’m crying. So, we got two women on the phone crying over the same man for two totally different reasons.

Now, after I walked her through everything she needed to do, I got on the floor and I stretched out and I was like, God, I don’t understand this. I’m just crying. I’m bawling. Because I’m like and I’m mad. Why am I crying over this? I hadn’t cried over this. I didn’t even cry when it happened. You get what I’m saying?

I was so confused and I was angry. Like, why am I crying? He don’t deserve my tears, you know. And God, and God, He’s so, uh, you know, He’s so subtle when you need it. Like, He know how to correct you and love you all at the same time. And He was like, who is your puppet master? And I was like, what? And He began to show me.

How that incident, those things that happened when I was a kid, were controlling my movement, my response, and my puppet master, were the things in my past, and how they were controlling how I saw things, and how I heard things, and how people heard me, and how people saw me, because you’ve got to think about a puppet master, right, they’re above here, and it’s strings operating how they’re going to move in your life, so, People saying, well, how can this relate to my, my child’s learning disability?

Well, life told me statistics that I was slower than everybody else, that I didn’t comprehend how everybody else comprehended that I probably wasn’t going to go to college because I was not as smart as everybody. So, there those strings go. And they telling me how I’m supposed to act, and they’re telling me that I’m slow, and they’re, I mean, back in the day, they had a song, because SLD, they used to say, man, slow learning dummies.

Oh, yeah, they used to take us, we had to go to the huts, you know, they had the little special classrooms, you had to go to, and it’s like, again, lying.

And they knew exactly what people would think about it. You was the one on the short little buses, right? Like, oh, you had the white top on the bus. So, it identified you early. And so that thing, those identifying marks, became your puppet master. So, they controlled how you responded, because if you keep telling me that I’m angry, then guess what I’m going to be?

I’m going to be angry. If you keep telling me that I’m slow, and I don’t understand something, then I’m going to connect to that, because that’s what you keep telling me, and that’s going to control how I do things. And so, when God asked me who’s my puppet master, it wasn’t just him, that situation with the guy, it was life.

And I started seeing how, wait a minute, this stuff has been controlling me for so long that people forget that it’s being controlled from up here, right? And so I had to be free. I wanted to be free. And the question that God asked me next after that was, will I allow him to control me, the gentleman from the grave?

And I was like, because again, some of us are so angry and bitter and hurt by people who are dead. And you still mad at these people. You still angry. They still controlling you from the grave. You still mad at the teacher who told you, you ain’t going to never be nobody. The lady, the man is dead and gone. Or how about they done moved on, but you still letting them control you.

Their words carry you. And their words were your puppet master, the strings. And it’s just like how long? And without realizing it, even as parents, you want to be careful not to contribute to the strings that life has already given your kids. You want to be careful how you think You want to be careful how quick you are to receive their disability and use it as a justification when they do certain things because you can’t be afraid to correct the behavior like yeah I’ve seen kids that have a lot of mental issues, but I’ve seen parents cave into the emotional aspects of the issue.

So, now a kid’s just doing it because they know the parents ain’t going to say nothing, the parents going to keep using that as an excuse. So, this kid can do what this kid does. But like, I know somebody, cause my cousins in like a rehab, not rehab, she’s in a group home for mentally developed, you know, disabled adults.

And one of her roommates has PICA, you know, so, she just eat whatever. Now, when she’s with her mom, she eat whatever she want to eat. Okay. But when she’s at the facility with the lady who is showing her love and discipline, she don’t eat nothing. Why is that? Because she learned how to manipulate the parent through the emotions of this, my kid, I’m just, I don’t want him to get upset.

But how she know the difference not to do it when she’s not, when she’s at the facility, when she’s at the group home, or when she’s with her mom, which is not often. She goes back into that behavior because again, we learn certain things. We’re smart regardless of what they say mentally what they can retain and all this other kind of stuff They were saying I couldn’t process information. But nobody could explain how I could like you could be talking to me and I would be I was able to give you an answer to some little question I didn’t even understand, but I’m slow.

I think they were a little bit wrong because I don’t think we’d be having this conversation if they were right.

Absolutely. But you get what I’m saying? Like be careful of the puppet master.

Well, I’m looking at our time. Listeners, I had a whole list of questions. I threw them all out as soon as we started talking.

Cause we do, we were just going to talk. So, I’m hoping you’re enjoying our conversation because, because I’m enjoying it.

Me too.

This season, what I’ve been doing for each of my guests is I’ve been giving them a statement to, to repeat after me and then finish as a way of passing on some advice to our parents.

So, if you’re up for it, I’ve got three, I was going to read for you.

I’m up for it.

Some are a little bit longer. So, if I need to repeat it again, tell me, or if you need to reword it a little bit, that’s fine. So, it’s an open-ended statement, you’ll hear the first of it and then it kind of leaves you hanging.

So, you’re just going to finish. Whatever you want to say afterward is the right answer. So, the first one is, “One powerful way to help a child with a disability overcome perceived limitations is to …”

Not perpetuate the limitations, show them, not just say it. But show them, like show them examples. Like, let’s say they don’t have legs, you know what I’m saying?

Or something happened and they want to be a track star. Don’t perpetuate the fact that they don’t want to have legs. Cause I see track stars without legs. Right? So, if there’s a wheel and a mindset. There is a way. So, don’t help perpetuate the limitations. And sometimes as parents, we are afraid to let them try, you know, because we know the world can be cruel.

But see, the Bible tells you to come to God with childlike faith because children are taught certain fears and limitations based off their surroundings.

All right. I like the example too. That’s. It’s always nice to have a visual to go with it. So, number two, “When facing setbacks on the special needs journey, the most effective way for parents to build strength in their child is to…”

Not look at it as a setback, but look at it as a learning experience.

Why it’s gotta be a setback. It’s just like when you play a video game, right? You know how you get so far in a video game that even after you die, you don’t necessarily have to start back from the beginning. You just start back from where you was at. So, even if they have to start back at the beginning, it’s still not a setback.

It’s a learning process. So, you’re going to learn a little bit more. Like, let’s say you plan a game. You ain’t never played this game before. That’s how you got to look at a child with disability. They doing something that either they said they couldn’t do or they’ve never done it before. So, it’s not a setback.

It’s a lesson. What are we learning in this lesson? Well, we know that we can’t go to the left cause that’s a wall. We’re going to run into the wall. So, how about this? This time we’re going to go to the right. Because we ain’t never been to the right before. So, instead of looking at it, again, that’s the same with like looking at limitations.

Instead of looking at it as a setback, train yourself to say this is a learning opportunity. This is a chance for me to show my child another way to look at something.

Nice. You are full of wisdom. I like these. So. Alright, so, see if I can stump you on this one.

Okay.

“To foster a strong, independent mindset in a child with a disability, the most important thing parents can do when collaborating with professionals is to…”

Always be an advocate for your child.

Because, just because they’re the professionals. We tend to trust them to advocate the way only a parent is going to advocate. I want to foster my child’s creativity. I don’t want to hinder it. So, even if I have to adjust my own lifestyle to be in a, to where my child can foster and do what it needs to do, then that’s what I’ll do.

I won’t make excuses and be like, well, the school is not doing this or the professional is not doing that. That’s not their job. Even though that’s what they went to school for, it’s really yours because I want to cultivate, you know what I’m saying? I want my child to foster their independence and know that regardless of what life may say, life told me I was going to have to have a trade.

Life told me I was going to do the same thing my mama did, that I was going to be. Again, statistics say So, these were professionals that Baby you’re going to have a baby probably at 14 or 13 because your mama had you. That’s statistics and based on that, based on what that study said, they were not lying.

But I didn’t get pregnant with my first child until I was 27 years old. You don’t have to, because they’re professionals. You don’t have to be in agreement when a professional speak to me concerning me or any of my children, right? What I’m gonna do is take their advice and be like, okay Thank you, cuz it’s not a lie. You get what I’m saying?

Like it don’t make it a lie. That’s their truth Now, how can I combat that? They said that you know again the professional say I ain’t have nothing to worry about this tumor is slow growing. We’ll see you in 40 years, which meant I’ll have been 80 by the time they saw me You Yeah, no, that’s not what happened.

And look where I’m at now. But through that, you get what I’m saying? So, don’t let the word, because they are professional, because they went to school for this, because they got a diploma, that’s not what I’m saying, a degree, behind their name, they got some letters there, that they know what’s best for your child.

Because even in their truth, they’re still setting limitations on what your child can do.

Before we close out, um, you mentioned your book. So, is your book on Amazon? Where can I get it?

It’s on Amazon. It’s on Barnes and Noble, the online store. Um, and it’s Embrace Your UGLY. You’ll know, you’ll see.

So, this is what it looks like Embrace Your UGLY.

And we can put the link to the Amazon one in the show notes too. So, listeners, if you want to. To be able to get straight to it, we’ll, we’ll, we’ll have it on the web page and on the show notes. And then, um, do you have any projects coming up? Anything you’re working on that you want to share?

Yes, absolutely. Man, I, you know what? I wish I had my flyers, but you’ll have information so they can have a link. Um, we’re having a mental health conference in Leesburg, Florida, July 20th at 2 p. m. And we’re going to have licensed therapists, um, professionals, a dean of students, and it’s a mental health workshop for the family.

So, it’s called Family Affair Mental Health Empowerment Conference. Because a lot of times what happens in the mental health, it’s almost kind of like, If it’s the child, a lot of times the dad thinks or the mother are handling it, right? Or if it’s a parent, then it’s always like it’s shifted. But what people have to understand is mental health is a family issue.

You can’t single out that one person and say, well, this person is going to take care of it. Because we all have to come together. As a village and help foster what’s really going on. And a lot of times what we’re seeing now is especially men, right? They’re not going to the conferences, right? The women go and the kids may go, but the men are not going.

Who’s speaking to them? Because in this world today, that I said all the time, and I mean what I say, they keep demonizing men. They keep putting them down. Either they’re too aggressive or they’re not aggressive enough. And it’s like, well, what you want the man to do? You know what I mean? You know what I’m saying?

He can’t even be his self. He can’t even walk in his authority, his God-given authority. Cause you telling him he’s too manly or you telling him he not manly enough. And so again, we don’t think of men having mental issues, you know what I’m saying? Like mental breakdown and even children trying to articulate and then women.

Because then women have been told you’re supposed to be a strong person. Like me being a black woman, you know, they always say black women got to be strong. Well, who said it? Like who came up with that rule? Like, why do they got to always say that? Like, wait a minute. Like, who said this? Like, who, who wrote this down?

Because I need to go tell them that. They need to stop lying. Like, no man. Like, wait a minute, like we can’t ask for help and this example I use all the time. When people say silly stuff like that, I gotta get this done. Okay, you say you’re a believer, you say you’re a Christian. Now, if this was meant for us to do this stuff all by ourselves, then why did Jesus give him 12 disciples?

If you don’t need nobody else, to help you. Why he out here picking up 12 people, messing with their lives. You get what I’m saying? If he can’t do it by himself. And his daddy created the universe. And his dad, even in the beginning, God was like, it’s not good for man to be alone. But yet you out here to convince yourself that you can’t ask for help, that people ain’t going to be supporting you.

Well, look what Judas did to Jesus. It was all a part of the assignment. Look at Peter, did not him, they was close. They was like bosom buddies, they was in that thing. And Peter was like, bruh, I don’t even know him. So, again, I think we make up stuff in our head to be like, if that’s the case, if you don’t need nobody, then God wouldn’t use any of us.

Because he don’t need any of us. Technically, he is God. But he uses our life as example. And so, if he needed to use us, If Jesus couldn’t do it by himself, why you got to do it by yourself? That’s why you learn about how to break down, because you’re trying to do more than Jesus was doing. He didn’t even try to do it by himself.

Well, thank you for sharing this. I have had a blast with this. I hate what you’ve had to go through, but I love who you are today. In spite of it, because of it, however you want to look at that, you are who you’re supposed to be today. And I appreciate you being here today, this moment in time, and sharing this with my audience.

And I speak for all of them. Thank you for being so open and honest today too.

And thank you for having me. Like, it’s always an honor. You know, we overcome by the words of our testimony. If more people testify, that’s where the strength comes from. Because people realize that they’re not by themselves.

You know, like, that’s a good feeling to know that it’s not just me. I’m one of the only person out there struggling. You know what I’m saying? It’s not just me. And that’s why we got to stop being so secretive. You don’t have to tell everybody everything. But there are times, there are strengths when you release your words.

If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more about parenting special needs children, don’t forget to hit the subscribe button and leave a review to let us know what you think. I’ll include the link to Letitia’s book Embrace Your Ugly and her other contact links in the show notes so be sure to check those out too.

I hope you learned some practical tips on advocating for a child with special needs. Thanks for joining me today. I’ll see you next week for another episode of the Water Prairie Chronicles.