Episode #138: The #1 Question Every Parent Should Ask About Their Child’s Speech

Show Notes:
From late talkers to selective mutism, learn why your child’s communication is a foundation for their future and how to build it strong.

In this episode, Tonya sits down with Luba, a leading speech-language pathologist and founder of Kidology, to demystify the world of early speech therapy. If you’ve ever found yourself searching “speech for a 2-year-old” or “is my child a late talker?”, this episode is for you.

Luba shares invaluable insights on common early signs of speech and language delays, the difference between the two, and the crucial importance of trusting your parental instincts. She offers a clear roadmap for parents, explaining the different paths to get help—from state-funded early intervention programs to private clinics and school-based IEPs.

Luba also shares a touching “A Day in the Life” story about a child with selective mutism, proving that even small moments can lead to significant breakthroughs. We also tackle common misconceptions about early speech therapy and the importance of parents acting as the “administrator” to coordinate care between schools and private practices. This is an essential conversation for any parent looking to give their child the best possible start.

Topics Covered:

• Signs your child may need speech therapy
• The difference between speech vs. language delays
• Navigating early intervention and IEPs
• The benefits of combining school and private speech therapy
• Overcoming common misconceptions about early speech therapy

Links & Resources:

• Kidology Website
• The Confident IEP Parent Program
• Kidology on Social Media:
  • Instagram
  • Facebook

Key Takeaways from Episode 138:

• Trust Your Gut Instinct: Your parental intuition is your most valuable tool. If you have any concerns about your child’s communication, don’t wait for them to “grow out of it.” Early speech therapy is key.
• Speech vs. Language: Understand the difference. Speech is the physical production of sounds (the “vehicle”), while language is the words and how they’re used (the “message”).
• IEP and Private Therapy: You don’t have to choose one or the other. Combining school-based IEPs with private speech therapy can provide a more consistent and holistic approach to your child’s development.
• Parent Power: You are the most important advocate and “administrator” for your child’s care. Ensure communication is happening between all providers to create a unified plan.
• Don’t Be Afraid: Seeking help doesn’t mean something is wrong with your child. It’s a proactive step to build a strong foundation for their future communication and success.

Work with Tonya as an IEP Coach: If you’re looking for personalized support, a trusted partner, and expert guidance through the IEP process, I would be honored to be part of your team. Find more information about my IEP coaching services here: https://waterprairie.com/iepcoach

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Music Used:

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Artist: http://audionautix.com/

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Episode #138: The #1 Question Every Parent Should Ask About Their Child’s Speech

From late talkers to selective mutism, learn why your child’s communication is a foundation for their future and how to build it strong.

(Recorded August 12, 2025)

Full Transcript of Episode 138:

138 v2 master

Luba: If they really needed something, or they were injured, how would they tell you? If they can’t tell you, you should get speech therapy.

Tonya: That’s the critical question every parent needs to ask. I’m Tonya Wollum, and today, speech-language pathologist, Luba Patlakh reveals the warning signs you shouldn’t ignore, and why early intervention changes everything.

Luba: I have a good analogy for you. Speech is the vehicle. Language is the message, but you need both for communication to work.

Tonya: Like if a parent’s searching speech for a 2-year-old, speech for a 4-year-old, what are some of the things that they might be seeing where they should be a little bit more concerned?

Luba: Well, firstly, I just wanna also say that if you’re a parent listening, whether you’re a first-time parent.

Second child, whatever realm of parenting you’re in. If your gut is questioning something and you’re like, Hmm, is it, are they not speaking enough? Is it, is it taking too long? Are they not repeating? If any question arises within you, do not wait. Do not dim that. Go and figure it out.—

Talk to your pediatrician, see if there’s a program you can register in. Find a local clinic, get an evaluation. Because a lot of people will hear that in their thoughts, and then they’ll be like, I’m just too busy. I don’t wanna get started with anything.

And then they miss the chance. But often if you’re child has a need, a want, they’re home, they want a snack, and they’re either crying or they’re humming at you and they’re not babbling, they’re not attempting to gesture and show you. You need to be looking to see, how is my child presently communicating their needs to me?

If they really needed something or they were injured, how would they tell you? If they can’t tell you, you should get speech therapy because that lack of communication is, it’s crucial to, to notice it. Then when they’re in other situations, if that foundation isn’t built, much like a house, there’s gonna be no communication.

You can’t build a house without a foundation. I always ask people if that question comes up, make a chart, log how many words a day your kiddo was saying? That’s the first place to start.

Tonya: You do wanna also look at, you know, if the child has been speaking perhaps a couple words and then they lose it. So a regression, that’s a concerning thing you should take a look at.

Luba: But always listen to your gut.

Tonya: Are there phases that a child goes through when they will have a regression? Like if a younger sibling is born or something, is that a natural process for some kids?

Luba: They shouldn’t, they shouldn’t, however. There’s many situations, and every day is a new experience and adventure in parenthood.

Often if a child begins to talk more quickly than they walk, so there’s a shift there too. If it’s a infant child who isn’t a walker yet and they already have words and language, some language, when they begin to walk, they may lose their language skills for some period or regress because the brain is now functioning so much stronger to get the walking down that it doesn’t always balance the two equally.

So the child could lose some of the language in order to start the walking, but then if worked on, it’ll balance out. Some kiddos do fine with both things at the same time, but I’ve seen children who, um. Become very clumsy when they’re learning to walk and then have to get glasses, they lose language then. It’s very unique.

It comes with certain changes. I like that you brought up a sibling being born. Some families have come to me and been like, my kiddo never stuttered. They started to talk. Now the kiddos three and, and a brother or sister, a sibling is born language lost. We have stuttering, we have language loss because children are human beings.

People forget and like us, they go through nerve situations and they don’t always have the tools to work through that. So the brain is just trying to operate and figure out and process. Oh, I have a sibling now. Oh wow. I was, I was talking to my mom and now she’s not really talking to me because she has to go feed my brother.

And the child doesn’t always know how to cope with all of those things. So something’s gotta give. And sometimes you see a dip. And these are great opportunities to go for speech therapy. You’re gonna give your child consistency, you’re gonna give your child the ability to continue and pick up where they left off before so they, they won’t lose anything.

Tonya: So you’re not always looking at speech therapy as a five-year commitment. Sometimes it might be for a stage of life.

Luba: Some kiddos, it can be as simple as an articulation disorder or a misplaced sound. We can fix that in a little bit. And also depending how well the child is able to focus in the session.

That’s dependent on age, dependent on behavior, dependent on, I don’t know what they ate today. There’s so many variables. However, if you’re at the right place at the right time, solid eight to 12 weeks usually can in and out. But I’ve had long-standing clients. Some people stay with us for a long time,

Tonya: What’s the average age that you have children that are coming into to your practice?

Luba: At Kidology, we see birth to 21, but I would say the bulk is three to eight years old. So still a wide range of kiddos. So as they’re leaving the early intervention and coming into the school age and then till about third grade.

Tonya: I mentioned my son needing a little more time to get all the frontal sounds in. He was in third grade, so eight, when we finally heard the last frontal sound develop, is that a typical developing range?

Luba: I would say yes. Again, it’s hard to give a statistic to everybody. Every child is different. Um, but if I, I, I feel like that’s a good time, why a different level of maturity begins to come at that time.

And also if the child’s been in speech therapy since five or six years old, and now they’re eight, they have some sort of understanding of the expectation. So you kind of grow with them.

Tonya: I wanted to ask about two different terms that parents might hear. One is speech delay and one is language delay. Can you explain the difference between the two?

Luba: So first of all, speech and language while they go together are two different things. The speech is the actual, um, the production of the sound.

So if a child has a speech delay, they’re having some sort of sound difficulty. So if you think about it, speech comes in sound waves. That’s where the delay is happening. Could it be a vocal issue? Are they talking too quietly? Are they unable to say a specific sound? It’s how the sound is coming together.

Whereas the language delay is difficulty understanding what the child is saying. ’cause either they don’t have language, so they’re lacking a vocabulary. It’s called a lexicon. So they may not have that yet and you have to build it up. Or they’re having a syntactical issue where they’re having trouble putting the words together, which is creating a disruption in language.

If I have words, but I’m like, ball, go it. You’re gonna stare at me and be like, what are you trying to say? Because I have a language disorder. Does that make sense? So the language is the words and the speech is the sounds.

I have a good analogy for you. Speech is the vehicle. Language is the message, but you need both for communication to work. So we’ve talked about the difference between the language, the speech, their guts, telling them that they may have some questions they need to follow through with this.

Tonya: So what are the first steps that a parent’s gonna take if they’re concerned about the child’s communication skills?

Luba: Depending on the age of the child. So if they’re in that early intervention, birth to three age. They’re gonna wanna go to their pediatrician. Or for example, if they’re in Pennsylvania and they wanna call Kidology, like somebody would come in and say, Hey, um, they fill an intake form and we would give them options.

So first we would ask if they wanna come to us through insurance or the early intervention program. ’cause we accept both. If they were going through the early intervention program, the state would need to do their initial evaluation, which is called a multidisciplinary evaluation. They look at all the things going on with the child, behaviorally, socially, emotionally, physically, mo, you know, are they using their motor skills, can they speak, and then they compile a report and goals, and that’s then given to us as an agency who will just carry the service.

Whereas if they’re coming in on insurance, they can either hear about us through their insurance by calling them and asking who was local to me in terms of a provider or if they heard of us already. Um, and then they would fill out their intake. We would look at their eligibility and benefits, and then they would come in for an evaluation and we would be the ones that create their whole plan.

We evaluate the child globally. If the parent wanted all areas, occupational, physical, speech, or behavior. We have all of those things. Um, if it was just speech, whatever the need is, we take a look and then we create a formal assessment and goals so that we can begin services, and then monitor and track data to ensure that the goals are being met properly.

So the first step would be to figure out how you’re gonna go. Is it gonna be in an early intervention program or a private insurance? Both are acceptable. If your kiddo is of school age, then you would, you could go to your school and you could begin the evaluation process there. So you’d have to go to your counselor and specify that there’s a need.

And then they would put you in for an initial assessment and you would get an IEP plan, individualized education plan, which also has goals that the child is working on, but often parents who are getting it at the school level will also get a private clinic only because usually the school, it’s just not enough service and it’s once a week, twice a month, sometimes in a group setting, it’s not as catered to the child.

It’s super ed. Um, catered to the education. So you’re gonna want to figure out where you need to be, what is your child’s age, and then you can pick, I’m going on private insurance or the state program, or if it’s a school aged child, I’m going to my psychologist. Um, in the school, we’re doing the IEP plan and or adding a private clinic as well.

Tonya: Okay. So you mentioned that in Pennsylvania with early intervention, so the state would cover the cost of them going to kidology?

Luba: Kidology or whatever entity that they go with would have to be a provider of the state. We happen to be one. So yes, it is covered without the insurance. It is a state funded program for early intervention, and we have the waiver for that.

So that’s for Kidology, depending on what state a family is in, I don’t know the rules for every state, but in Pennsylvania. It is a covered service and a child would get free care up to the age of three on the state level. Should the provider you’re interested in working with be a licensed provider of that program, then it would be covered just like it is for us.

Tonya: I wasn’t aware that they would contract with private providers, which is great.  Can you talk about the difference between the therapy that the school does provide and private practice?

Like for a parent to understand like, okay, so my child already has speech. I don’t have to worry about it. What does that really mean? And, parents listening, we are not giving you advice. We are not telling you what to do here. This is just a conversation that we’re having.

But take what you’re hearing and start asking questions based on what you’re hearing. You know, you, you need to do your own research here, but, but just kind of in general, ’cause I know this is like case to case is gonna be different from child to child. But, say we have a child who’s getting speech therapy once a week and they’re in first grade,and we’ll even go further and say, this is in a group of maybe five students, so it’s not one-on-one. This is, this is a group setting where they’re going. ’cause you’ll see that a lot of times happening. Um, what’s the difference between what that child might be gaining from that exposure and what they might get if they go into private practice?

Luba: So. If a child is getting services on their IEP at school, often those goals are super catered to education specifically. So that’s already very different when you come to private therapy. While we do focus on education, we want the child to accomplish and achieve and do well and succeed. We’re looking at a global approach.

So we take a look to see how will this, for example, if there’s speech, getting, speech therapy, how is the child communicating in their home, with peers, making requests, in their activities? It’s not only education based, it’s global in the sense of we look at the full wellbeing of the individual and we make sure that the needs that we’re working on and the goals that are there are for their full life.

Not only for how they’re gonna function at school or speak to somebody in the lunchroom. While that is so important, it’s just one piece of this person, and that’s a lot of what I talk to the parents about. You need to make sure that when an IEP is written, they’re looking at the child in many perspectives, not only as the student of that school.

That is very important.

Tonya: So would you, would you see a child that’s coupling both types of services together?

Luba: Oh yeah. All the time. It’s generally, and you brought up this point as well, the one time, 30 minutes at a month, it kills me. I’m like, what are you thinking? What’s the reason?

So in those types of situations, unfortunately the evaluator either didn’t get to really experience the child, they didn’t gather enough information, or they really felt that the child should be on kind of a reviewing level where they’re doing well enough, but we’re checking in on them.

Anybody who needs to meet a goal and actually accomplish a piece of therapy cannot come for one times a month. It’s just not possible. There’s not enough consistency.

Therapy works when it’s consistent. A weekly time for a certain amount of time. Then the child is involved and committed and so is the therapist. And then you can build, last week we did this, we’re gonna do this again, but we’re gonna add this. And that’s how you build. You get up the ladder and you achieve.

It’s so important then from the side as a parent to evaluate, okay, the school’s giving me x. Fine. It’s maybe a little, but it’s better than nothing. So now I see my child doing other things that the school didn’t pick up on. I’m gonna now also get the private therapy, and the two can work together.

We speak to the provider at the school level so that we can collaboratively work.

 I absolutely think that if you’re getting service at school, that’s fantastic. It’s generally just not enough, and it’s not focusing on the full picture.

Tonya: And parents, the piece that I wanna share with you, mom to mom here is, you’re the expert on your child. In this situation, you’re going to be that administrator that is working between the two entities, whether it’s private practice and the school, and you’re gonna want to make sure that that communication is happening because your child is the one who’s in the middle. You said it’s, it’s gonna be a confusing situation if they’re hearing different things from different adults who are speaking into them.

But you’re the one who can help bring this together.

Luba: Absolutely. And it, it’s kind of your job ’cause you don’t have a coordinator on that side to, to push it all together.

So you wanna make sure you understand the full picture Mom and dad. Your kiddo might not be able to come home and communicate what’s happening to you. So unfortunately, if they’re already in these positions with services, you have to be involved.

Tonya: Yeah. Yeah. And I don’t know of a single school out there who’s going to be upset because you chose to add on private therapy to what they’re doing.

So you’re not doing anything wrong. If you, if you choose to make that, that, that decision.

Luba: It’s a good decision and it’ll help your child move along more quickly. And I think everybody wants the best for their family, for their kiddos, so it’s. The right thing.

Tonya: All right, so I’m gonna move into our A Day in The Life section. If you could, share an anecdote with me about a child that you worked with where early intervention made a significant difference in their communication skills.

Luba: This is one of my favorite stories. We had a kiddo. So in Kidology’s clinics we also have a play gym. Um, and it’s a great place for kids to play post session or sometimes during, uh, or do physical therapy, occupational, whatever happens, whatever they need, we do. Uh, but it’s not always in the gym, but it is something we offer.

So we had a little girl, um, she came in and she was diagnosed with selective mutism because, and she was one of four, um, I don’t remember if she was the oldest or the second child, but there were four kiddos and mom, they had moved from a different country. The girl started in in school and she was talking, and then just one day she didn’t speak anymore and she had been coming to Kidology for six or seven weeks and she participated in the session and she played and she was joyful.

She was always in a good mood. She was there, but she never said a word. She would nod, she would say no, just gesturing and nodding and, um. We brought her into the gym. And I got a new swing for the gym. And I happened to be there that day doing stuff with the swing, and she was there.

So I invited her and I brought her on the swing and the mom was just sitting on the floor. She had been finishing, um, physical therapy and I was there. So I bring on the swing and I’m swinging her and I’m saying, “wee, wee” back and forth, “wee,” and then. I stopped and she looked at me, and she said, “wee,” and her mom just started.

She hadn’t spoken in months. I mean, they didn’t hear her voice. I’m getting chills right now again. And we all, myself, the physical therapist and the mom just stood there and we were just crying. As parents, as providers, and we were so happy and. That day, I think she said bye also. And this was her slow climb back to speaking.

And I, I don’t know if she had a traumatic event, why the selective mutism came, but it came and I was, I just, can you believe like this moment of swinging her.

Tonya: What’s one of the most common misconceptions that parents might have about the process of getting an evaluation or starting therapy?

Luba: Especially my foreign parents, they immediately assume that like something’s wrong with their child. And rather than, and this is where I advocate and have been for years.

Rather than kind of sweeping this away and hiding away, oh, my kid is like different. Um, we’re encouraging them to accept it’s okay. There’s, there’s ways that we can help them function and be better. So I just, I want people’s mentality to shift. I, I get so sad that they feel like something’s wrong with my kid.

I can’t like do X, Y, Z. Yes, you sure can. Let’s, let’s get to work though. And this is a collective space. We’re all gonna work together. People come, they think that this is a mechanic shop. I’m dropping Bob off, I’ll pick him up later. All fixed up. No honey, this isn’t how this works. You know? So I think that not being of that mentality.

Tonya: We were talking about the grandparents earlier, um, the, the old school thoughts that if there’s something you’re gonna hide it. And that doesn’t, doesn’t help the child anymore.

Luba: I’m Russian by my culture and that is just what it is. It’s super old school style people especially who come over and immigrating with all these programs and their kids need help.

They’re very, maybe not as much as 10 years ago when I started, but for sure that old school mentality.

Tonya: We’ve mentioned Kidology a couple times. Tell us more about what that is.

Luba: Thank you so much. I’ve been in business as the owner and founder of Kidology for the last decade. It is a multidisciplinary practice that has private clinics, in the Pennsylvania area.

We offer speech, OT, PT, ABA, and these play gyms consolidated in one beautiful package. So come on by if you need help.

 We offer Russian, Ukrainian, Albanian, Spanish, Polish. Many languages and always looking to add more. If we don’t have your language, we call in the language line. That is our heart. I came here to America as an immigrant at two years old, and I remember learning and going to ESL and I just, I’m so blessed to give back to that community because I was there and I just, I want people to be heard even when they’re in a foreign place.

I’ve started the  Confident IEP Parent. I have sat in on so many IEP meetings, and I love to teach parents. So when they’re in the hands of Kidology, obviously, we advocate for the kiddo. We get everything we need between insurance and the state programs.

Luba: But then when the kiddo goes to the school. I can’t come to school to talk for the kid, so I love working with parents. The program is a all-encompassing curriculum. They can buy a course, um, or get one-on-one private sessions, but the idea is that we fully teach them how to come to the table with confidence and get everything that their child needs and more.

And make sure that the child is heard in a global perspective, in light, not just academically.

Tonya: How can parents find out more about you? What’s your website for Kidology and also the  Confident IEP Parent?

Luba: We’re accessible at kidologyinc.com, and there’s information there about myofunction and um, we have a, a bus that comes to you if you wanted to get evaluated at your house.

The speech therapy mobile therapy bus, and for the  Confident IEP Parent, it’s just theconfidentiepparent.com. Um, there is a inquiry forum you can join for a free monthly newsletter, and there’s some freebies that we give out as well on there. We are on social media, so it’s @kidologyinc.

We’re @theconfidentiepparent. If anybody has personal questions and wants to reach out to me, I am @kidologyqueen. I recently changed my name. It was my name, but I am now @kidologyqueen.

Tonya: Nice. All right, listeners, all of that will be in the show notes. Luba, thank you for being here today. This has been a lot of fun.

Luba: Thank you so much. Yeah, you’re a blast.

Tonya: I hope Luba’s expertise gave you the confidence to trust your instincts and take action if you have concerns about your child’s communication skills. Remember her key advice. If there’s an opportunity for your child and you’re questioning something, don’t wait.

If today’s episode has helped you, be sure to subscribe to Water Prairie. Thanks for watching, and I’ll see you next time.

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ):

Q: What are the early signs that my child may need speech therapy?

• A: According to Luba, a major sign is your parental gut feeling. Other indicators include a lack of babbling, not gesturing to communicate, losing words they previously had, or struggling with articulation.

Q: What’s the difference between a speech delay and a language delay?

• A: A speech delay is an issue with the physical production of sounds (the “vehicle”), while a language delay is a difficulty with understanding and using words to convey a message (the “message”).

Q: What is the role of the parent in speech therapy?

• A: Parents are the most important part of the therapy team. As Luba mentioned, you are the “administrator” who brings all the services together. Your role is to be an advocate, ask questions, and carry over the strategies learned in therapy into your daily routines at home. This consistent practice is key to your child’s progress.

Q: How can I help my child at home in between therapy sessions?

• A: You don’t need special materials or dedicated time. You can incorporate language-building activities into everyday routines. This could be as simple as narrating what you are doing during bath time, singing songs, reading books, or encouraging your child to make requests and respond to questions. Your therapist should provide specific “homework” to guide you.

Q: Do I need private speech therapy if my child already gets services at school?

• A: As Luba explains, school-based therapy often focuses solely on academic goals and may not provide enough consistency. She suggests that combining school and private therapy can offer a more global, holistic approach to a child’s needs.

Q: Will my child’s speech problem just “fix itself” over time?

• A: While some children may naturally improve, it’s a common misconception that all delays will resolve on their own. Luba emphasizes that a parent’s gut feeling is the best guide. Waiting to see if a child “grows out of it” can lead to lost time during critical developmental periods. Early intervention is the best way to ensure your child has a solid foundation for communication.

Q: What should I do if my child starts regressing in their speech?

• A: Regression, or losing previously learned words, is a red flag. While a shift can sometimes happen when a child is learning a new skill like walking, it’s a good reason to seek an evaluation to ensure they don’t lose progress.