🤯 Revolutionize Independence: The Shocking Advice from a Blind Paralympic Swimmer (You’ll Never Look Back!)
If you’ve been feeling the tug-of-war between wanting to protect your child and needing them to grow up with independence, I’m about to drop some wisdom that will change your perspective.
This week on the Water Prairie Chronicles Podcast, I sat down with Evan Wilkerson—a college freshman, World Championship medalist, and one of the most self-assured young men I’ve interviewed. He happens to be a blind swimmer, but trust me, the lessons he shared about identity, transition, and independence are universal for every parent raising a child with a disability.
Ready to finally put the “I” in IEP and build that life-ready independence? Let’s get started!
🧠 IEP Coach Mindset Shift: Your Child’s Identity is NOT a Label
When I asked Evan how he introduces himself, his answer was pure gold. He doesn’t lead with, “Hi, I’m the blind Paralympic medalist.” Instead, he says, “I’m Evan, a college student, a Christian Studies major, and I swim here.”
He explicitly told me he doesn’t want to “put your identity in all of those things” (meaning his athletic success).
👉 Action Item for You: Stop letting the IEP, the diagnosis, or even their achievements be your child’s first defining characteristic.
- If your teen uses a wheelchair, they are first a teenager with a great sense of humor.
- If your child has an invisible disability like Autism or ADHD, they are first a creator or a loyal friend.
Challenge: Listen to how you introduce your child this week. Does it start with their label, or with their personality? Let’s affirm who they are, not just what they can or can’t do.
🚪 College Transition: The Fear is Real, But the Preparation is Key
Evan’s biggest fear about leaving home was what every parent of a disabled student worries about: “I wouldn’t be prepared to get around campus or to create a friend group.”
Guess what? It took a short time, but both fears were quickly gone! Why?
- Skills were built over time: He knew how to self-advocate and interact with people.
- Right tools: Having his guide dog, Titus, made navigation manageable.
- Built-in Community: Being on the swim team gave him an immediate social circle.
✅ This applies to all transitions: Whether it’s starting high school, taking the bus independently, or getting their first job, the foundation is the same. What specific, practical skills are you putting into their IEP right now to prepare them for the real world?
🛠️ Accommodations: Simple Solutions Win Every Time
As an IEP Coach, I was thrilled to hear how easy Evan’s accommodations were—because it proves that accessibility in college doesn’t require a mountain of paperwork!
- Low-Tech & Collaborative: Most needs are met by professors simply emailing him assignments as a Word document.
- Creative Adaptation: For a complex map test, they adapted it to be text-based. (Hello, Specially Designed Instruction!)
- Minimal Use: He hasn’t even needed extended time for most quizzes because his screen-reading and typing skills are so fast!
🔥 Mind-Blowing Takeaway: Evan’s college is a small school (1,500 students!), and he says they’ve been fantastic. This proves that school size is NOT the issue; willingness to collaborate is.
Ask Yourself: If your child needs an accommodation, are you asking for the most reasonable, least restrictive, and simplest solution first? Sometimes, sending a PDF is all it takes!
🛑 Evan’s Final Sentence: The Ultimate Lesson on Independence
I ended the interview with a crucial question: What is one sentence of advice for parents who worry about their child’s independence?
Evan’s answer is the sentence you need to write on your mirror today:
“As a parent, you’re going to have to give them their independence. You can’t do things for them. They have to do things for themselves.”
Ouch. But also, AMEN.
We can’t do independence for our kids. We can only give them the space to try, fail, learn, and grow. Our job is to provide the tools (like Titus, or a modified assignment) and the expectations so they can become the incredible, successful adults they are meant to be.
Ready to get inspired? Listen to the full episode and hear Evan’s incredible drive, his Paralympic goals, and his hope-filled message for using his platform.
🎙️ Click HERE to listen to the Water Prairie Chronicles with Evan Wilkerson!
❓ Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) About Disability & Independence
Q: What is the most important lesson about independence for parents of disabled children?
A: The most crucial lesson is that you cannot do independence for your child. As shared by Evan Wilkerson, parents must be willing to step back and “give them their independence” by providing the tools, space, and expectation that they will do hard things for themselves. Your role shifts from doing to equipping.
Q: Does the size of a college matter for a student needing accessibility accommodations?
A: No, the size of the school is not the determining factor for accessibility. As Evan’s experience at a smaller college (1,500 students) shows, the most important element is the willingness of the administration and faculty to collaborate and think creatively about providing accommodations. A large school can be uncooperative, and a small school can be fantastic.
Q: How can I help my disabled child build an identity beyond their disability?
A: Encourage your child to pursue diverse interests and talents outside of their special education services or disability-specific activities. Model this by introducing them based on their personality, hobbies, or achievements, rather than their diagnosis (e.g., “This is my son, an artist and a swimmer,” not “This is my blind son”).
Q: What is a “Master IEP Coach®” and what is their role?
A: A Master IEP Coach® is a professional who helps parents understand the Individualized Education Program (IEP) process, advocate effectively for their child’s needs, and ensure that the IEP goals are truly focused on building the academic and functional independence needed for their child’s future success.
